The Bad Breakup Recovery Plan
By Sanjiv Bhattacharya
Nothing brings on an emotional apocalypse like being ditched by the woman you love. It’s Cupid’s evil twin kicking you in the gut, and it seems the only option is to wallow in misery. With your confidence broken, it’s hard to face the world again.
The truth is, many have been there before and lived to tell the tale. We talked to relationship experts to find out the quickest and most pain-free way to turn your mindset around -- because it is, after all, all about attitude -- and get back on that horse. This is their advice.
1. Avoid the Rebound
If you’re still feeling like a basket case, you’ll come off like a basket case, and that’s not the “you” you want to put out there. There’s a difference between allowing some time to let the wounds heal and pining over a lost cause.
2. Do Something Manly
Whichever activity you choose, the most important thing is to go with trusted buddies and to make yourself a promise. “You must make a pact that you will not weep the entire weekend about how much you miss her.”
It’s too easy to get in the habit of feeling depressed. Doing something manly serves as a reminder of all the other things we enjoy. It gives us the confidence to carry on.
3. Figure out What You Want
Without knowing what you’re looking for, you’ll keep walking into the same situation as before: “The same exact woman who is going to teach you the same exact lessons,” says Wygant. You don’t want to end up back where you started.
4. Take a Position -- Serious or Casual
Whether you decide to keep things casual at first or look for a serious commitment, simply taking a position bolsters your confidence. It puts you in control of an aspect of your life that was earlier stripped away.
5. Now Get Back in the Game
6. Have an Abundant Mindset
So don’t feel down. Recognize the breakup as the opportunity it is: a time to reconnect with yourself and to determine your own path in life and love.
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Sanjiv Bhattacharya is the author of Secrets & Wives: The Hidden World of Mormon Polygamy.
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