Lately, I've been looking better than my girlfriend. How can I suggest she revert back to the brush, razor and makeup she used when we first met -- without insulting her?

ANSWER:

I call the situation you’re in the “overly comfy zone.” It’s that place where you’re so comfortable with your partner, you no longer feel the need to impress him.

One way to get her back to some of her old but good ways is to ask her out like you used to when you two first met. Create situations in which she’ll want to get all decked out. And when she does, tell her how fantastic she looks.

Having the situation cue her to upgrade her grooming is better than your doing it (which would create resentment and pressure). A few well-timed compliments and she’ll soon sense a pattern. Then you can tell her that, while you love her no matter what, it makes you feel like she really cares when she goes that extra mile. If she knows it matters to you, she’s more likely to bother looking better. Too many women feel their men don’t really give a hoot anymore.

Make sure she knows you care -- a lot -- and that you appreciate everything she does for you. While you're at it, ask what you might be able to do for her. Reciprocation is very sexy -- she may have some grooming tips she’s been waiting to share with you.

She’s still not getting the hint? Push your look up a notch so the difference between you two is even more obvious. When she sees you’re getting compliments while she’s getting offered breath mints and a comb, she’ll get it. Next Expert Q+A Expert Q+A Archive Have a question? Ask an expert