Just A Guy Thing

Get out of your relationship ASAP. Date other people and let at least six months go by.

Once your ex has a new serious guy, make sure that when you see them, you’re super-friendly -- especially with him.

Now, back to the ex-girlfriend’s sister: Send the “interested” vibe out to her (running into her seemingly by coincidence, choreographing seating so you are next to her, etc.) but do not make any moves. If this is going to work without imploding, she has to ask you out -- that way, you don’t look like a troublemaker.

Sounds like a lot of work? It is. My suggestion is to consider dating someone that just reminds you of her sister instead.

A certain amount of stress gets us to perform. We need deadlines, we need expectations, we need to know what the reward system is. It gets us to work at a higher level. The problem is that it can reach a point where the more you’re handling, the worse you perform.

In today’s work world, the stresses you face can be categorized into three areas.

The first is environmental stress -- the stress of your workplace having 24/7 access to you via e-mail and cell phone. To alleviate this, you have to create boundaries. You can say that after 8:30 p.m., you’re not going to respond to messages or calls until the next morning.

The second is resource stress. Most people and companies are doing more with less. Just to hold onto your job these days, you’re expected to do the work of two or three people with fewer resources than you had just a few years ago. Try to pool your efforts with your colleagues and come up with a plan that works well for everyone. Let’s say I work in customer service and I’ve inherited twice the number of accounts I started with. I can brainstorm with my co-workers in customer service on how we all can manage our workload together: There might be a more efficient way of serving customers when I use the collective thinking of the team. Normally, management will appreciate the new approach if it leads to greater efficiency. Normally.

The third is interpersonal stress, which usually has to do with your boss -- or, if you’re self-employed, that client who’s impossible to please. Learn to communicate with your boss to clarify what they expect from you. You can’t fix the other person, so don’t try.

You also need to take care of yourself physically. Exercise at the gym, play organized sports -- do something to purge the body of toxins and clear your mind. We literally hold stress in the body, and if you keep shoving it in there, you’re going to have physical symptoms. You’ve got to release that energy from the body.

First, you’ll need to know how to find out about upcoming reality-TV dating shows: Casting agents routinely send queries through Craigslist. Usually they start by asking for a picture and maybe a short video. (You don’t need anything professional, so don’t waste the money.) Plus, there are industry publications like Backstage that carry casting listings, as do chat boards, fan sites and even the websites of the production companies creating the shows. (Of course, if you’re serious enough to have an agent, he’ll let you know about such opportunities.)

You may have heard about classes or courses that coach you on how to get onto reality shows. They’re a waste of time and money. Most shows don’t care about previous acting experience and would rather you not be an actor/singer/model.

Now let’s say you get to the next level -- a shot at being featured on a reality show. When you meet with producers, be extreme; Being subtle or humble gets you nowhere in reality TV. If you've always been tagged “the loud guy,” “the funny guy” or “the crazy guy,” take it up a notch and become a caricature so you stand out. The same goes should you actually land the gig.

Which leads us to our next bit of advice: If you get cast on a reality-TV show, don’t be a diva. Be late, cranky or demanding, and you’ll be quickly replaced -- faster than you can say “Jersey Shore.”

When it comes to forming a band, it's a networking business all the way! Hang out in clubs, performance venues and recording studios -- every chance you can, all the time. Get out there and make an impression somehow. If you're not playing, dress cool -- do something to draw attention to yourself.

If you see a band and really like one of the musicians, compliment him and introduce yourself. There's nothing a musician likes more than to be told you're into what he’s doing. If you're shy, it's going to be a lot harder for you, unless you're incredibly talented.

Take every gig you can get when you're starting out, no matter how crummy it is. You never really know where you're going to meet the right people -- it can take a long time. There are cases where bands do auditions through ads and they find the right guy out of the blue, but usually it's people you know.

How do you know when they're the "right people?" Musically, you need that indefinable thing called chemistry. When people get together and work or create, there's a chemistry or there isn't. Second, you've just got to get somebody you can get along with. The idea that tension and stress causes great music is only true for a little while!

Economically, you're better off just hiring guys and not having any long-term commitments. But when you say, "You're in the band" -- you know, "You're a Scorcher" or "You're a Rolling Stone" -- they’ll give more, they're willing to do more, they feel more a part of it and they're apt to give a better performance.

It's a tough business, and there are no easy answers, that's for sure. But it boils down to being out there all the time, looking, networking and playing.

When people come to see me with a sensitive skin condition, they may be referring to breakouts, itching or full-blown dermatitis. It’s a problem we can all relate to that can range from a minor blemish to a debilitating allergy.

Sensitive skin is caused by a number of different issues that can be put into three broad categories: allergic and irritant dermatitis (inflammation of the skin), acne and rosacea. All these conditions are often associated with itching and burning:

Allergic dermatitis is caused by something touching and sensitizing the skin. Poison ivy is an obvious example, but it could be something more obscure, like a piece of jewelry, latex gloves, your favorite soap or aftershave.

Treat it:

The first line of defense is to avoid contact with the allergen -- and if a known allergen does touch your skin, wash it off immediately. If you’re at all concerned, see your doctor. Otherwise, non-prescription treatments include oral antihistamines like Benadryl and hydrocortisone creams, which can be applied to smaller affected areas.

Irritant dermatitis is a compound problem that may have many contributing sources.

Treat it:

Good treatment starts by removing or minimizing those things you know might be causing the irritation. Beyond that, look out for cleaning solutions, detergents and household or workplace chemicals you use. Day to day, reduce long, hot showers, switch to milder forms of soap and shampoo, and finish your grooming routine by using a gentle moisturizer. Everything you do to reduce layers of irritation will help. If all else fails, try a mild hydrocortisone cream, and if that doesn’t work, you may need to step up to a prescription medication.

Acne is primarily a result of oily skin -- the buildup of bacteria and inflammation of hair follicles.

Treat it:

Over-the-counter lotions that contain ingredients like salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide that often help with mild occurrences. Prescription topical treatments and/or antibiotics may be needed to treat more severe cases.

Rosacea, in which enlarged blood vessels give the face and nose a flushed appearance, has no known cause. But common triggers include drinking alcohol, eating spicy foods and even sunshine.

Treat it:

If you suffer from rosacea, always use a good sunblock. Treatments are similar to those for acne and include antibiotics and laser therapy.

Sensitive skin can be painful and embarrassing. Always look carefully at the soaps, perfumes and moisturizes you buy. The products we use play an important role in the health of our skin, so selecting items with pure, natural ingredients will likely be a large part of the solution.

Rehearse your speech out loud. Do that as many times as needed to be confident that you know it really well. When the day arrives, don’t read your speech to the audience, but do refer to it. Print it in oversize type and highlight key phrases or the first sentence of each paragraph.

Being nervous isn't a bad thing: Extra adrenaline and endorphins will actually improve your ability to focus. Assume the physical posture of confidence and your mind will follow. Picture giving the speech successfully from start to finish. And while you’re at it, go ahead and imagine yourself receiving a standing ovation.

Are there actual rules for a wedding toast? Not really. Are there suggestions that you should follow to the letter if you want to maintain the friendship? You’d better believe it.

First and foremost, TWI (toasting while intoxicated) is a huge no-no. Assuming you’re of age, a sip beforehand to take the edge off is OK, but remember you’ll make a lot more sense if you’re sober. And you won’t run the risk of saying things you’ll live to regret.

Second, make it memorable. To do so, you’ll need informed material, such as a few mildly embarrassing childhood memories of your friend, the groom. However, your anecdotes should never progress beyond good-natured ribbing. Mention of his former sexual partners or anything else of a typically confidential nature is completely off-limits. If you’re worried that something you’re planning to say might be insulting or in bad taste, it probably is. As a double check, run your material by some trusted friends in advance.

Third, don’t forget the bride. Tell her you’ve never seen your friend happier, how she’s affected him for the better and how you knew from the moment you met her that she was the one for him.

Fourth, keep it brief. Your comments should take at least a minute, but no more than five. If you’re sharing the stage with the maid(en) of honor, don’t be a microphone hog -- be mindful of her time too. And give her your full attention when she’s speaking.

Fifth -- and this is one a surprising number of best men forget -- make sure you instruct everyone in the room to raise their glasses in toast. This signals you’re about to wrap your remarks. Sum up with appropriate fanfare: “ … And with that, let’s all raise a glass to one of the happiest couples you’ll ever meet, John and Linda. Cheers!” Take your sip, then head over to the newlyweds to give them a hug or kiss.

And now, sir, your toasting duties are complete. With any luck, your best buddy will be just as charming when he gives the toast at your wedding. But save this link for him just in case.

Remember what happened in nursery school when you and a fellow toddler both wanted to play with the same toy? Grabbing, pushing and general mayhem would ensue, finally broken up by your teacher, after she rushed over and told you both that you needed to learn to share.

For many adults, sharing is still not something that comes naturally -- particularly in the testosterone-charged environment of the gym. I’ve often found myself wondering why on earth a certain lunkhead has decided he needs to use the exact same machine or weights I’m using at the exact same time I’m using them -- particularly if the gym is not crowded. In general, I find working-in requests to be disruptive and often experience performance anxiety lifting in front of someone who’s standing mere inches away from me -- I’m convinced the other guy is praying I won’t make my 12 reps so he can jump on the machine faster! (Granted, this may be my own issue, but chime in if you’ve felt this way too.)

In general, unless someone is being an equipment hog, taking an inordinate amount of time between sets, I prefer doing another exercise until the other individual is done. If, however, the individual seems to be napping between sets or if the gym is so mobbed that my chances of ever getting on a certain machine are slim to none, I’ll work in.

If you’ve decided you need to work in with someone to complete your routine, follow these guidelines of good gym etiquette:

• Chose wisely. With free weights, pick a station where the other person’s lifting loads comparable to yours so you won’t each need to spend inordinate amounts of time loading and reloading. Likewise, if you’re six-foot-eight, avoid working in with a five-footer -- you don’t want to spend more time adjusting seat heights than you spend actually working out.

• Inquire. Ask the other person how many sets he has left. If it’s just one or two, wait it out. If five or six ...

• • Ask nicely. “Do you mind if I work in?” is preferable to “Dude! You’re taking forever; let me hop on!”

• Be clean. Wipe down the seat and bars after each use so the next person doesn’t get a coat of your sweat. And when you finish your set, give the person some breathing room -- don’t hover.

• Assist. Offer to spot if you’re using free weights and be sure to help unload and reload for his next set. If you’re using a machine, move the pin back to where it was before you got on. From there, he’ll move the pin to suit his own needs. Also be sure to move the seat or handles back to his positions.

• Express appreciation. When you’re done, say thank you. And pay it forward: If someone asks to work in with you, grant the request gracefully.

Do all the above and you just may have made friends (and maybe even future workout partners) at the gym.

Any time hair goes into drain systems, you have the possibility of a blockage. It's not the hair by itself -- it's soap and shampoo, which build up in the piping, coating the inside of the pipe in thin layers. If you toss the trimmings into the sink or groom over it and let the hair wash down the drain, it can stick to the buildup, where it accumulates.

Facial hair from regular shaving isn't generally a problem because the hairs are so short. Manscaping poses more of a problem because the hairs are longer. When they get caught in the buildup, they can accumulate, until eventually you have a clogged pipe.

The type of piping can make a difference. Plastic piping is typically more resistant to clogging than cast iron or steel piping, because it has no positive or negative charge. So if you're having new plumbing done, consider plastic -- especially if you're going to be clipping some thick fur.

However, even plastic piping can be affected by buildup. Here’s the best way to keep the plumber away: Use a small strainer in the sink to prevent hair from entering the drain. You can also use an enzyme-type drain cleaner to dissolve the grease and hair before it builds up.

When you’re enjoying the summer sunshine, nothing spoils the fun faster than the crippling pain of sunscreen finding its way into your eyes. It’s a common problem that can be easily fixed if you follow a few simple rules:

1.   Start by using a high-quality sweatproof/waterproof broad spectrum sunscreen

with the highest sun protection factor (SPF) available. These preparations bind to the skin much better than their non-waterproof counterparts and are a great first step in preventing eye irritation caused by sunscreen.

2.   Wear a sports hat with a built-in sweatband,
which will channel perspiration away from your eyes. Not all activities lend themselves to wearing headgear, but remember that hats not only keep sunscreen out of your eyes, but also play an important part in protecting you from the sun.

3.   Carefully apply sunscreen around the orbit of the eye
. You can go a little closer on the underside, using the bone as your guide. Luckily, the brows tend to shield the upper eyelids, and we rarely see skin cancers there, but as added protection, always wear sunglasses when possible. 

As a final step, look for the Skin Cancer Foundation’s Seal of Recommendation on the sunscreens you use. (Check out SkinCancer.org.) That will help you choose a reliable product: The organization’s approval process includes validating the SPF numbers and substantiating claims of water/sweat resistance.

If you're cash-poor but tech-savvy and have time to learn, record music by going DIY.

You can buy a digital audio workstation (recording hardware and software) for under $1,000. Numerous companies manufacture inexpensive, quality microphones and preamps, which you’ll also need. (Look at magazines like EQ and Tape Op, and websites like GearSlutz.com for reviews of all the above.) Just a heads-up, though: Expect to spend 80 percent of your time learning how to use all this before playing a note.

Not up for it? You can book a recording studio with an engineer -- it will cost more, but it will also allow you to focus on making music. First, figure out how much you can afford to pay, then tour several local studios. (Google “recording studios” and your zip code -- same for “recording engineers.”) Talk to the house engineers and listen to samples of their recent work. Ask if the studio offers an “indie rate.” Look at their client list: If you know anyone on it, call them; if not, find the artist’s music online. Bottom line: You don’t need to hire any Mr. or Ms. Fancy-Pants Producer at a gazillion dollars an hour.

Next: Rehearse till you drop!Record yourselves and listen critically. A really well-rehearsed band can record basic tracks for three to five songs in two days.

For overdubs and mixing, many professional engineers have their own personal studios that are less expensive -- just make sure you've heard samples that were mixed there. Mixing can take many hours, so see if the engineer offers a project rate (a flat fee for all of the mixes). Done mixing?

Shop around for a mastering engineer. (Prices vary widely.) Either way, a five- or six-song EP is enough for a debut. Use a reputable company to press CDs (which you can find on the Web by searching "CD manufacturers"). You don't need a local company; many indies go with Discmakers or Oasis. Only order what you expect to sell and use for promotion; focus on digital distribution, but you'll still need some physical CDs for radio.

There are many reasons you might be experiencing facial redness and dryness.

One possible cause is

seborrheic dermatitis

-- essentially a dandruff of the skin related to an overgrowth of the yeast naturally present on our faces and other parts of the body. It can be most noticeable in the brows, nose and chin (the area known as the face’s T-zone). Seborrheic dermatitis can occur at any age, though it might be more evident during puberty.

There is nothing you can do diet-wise to prevent these outbreaks, but you can use an over-the-counter dandruff shampoo containing ketoconazole to keep them in check. Apply the shampoo two or three times per week on any affected areas of the face.

You might also be suffering from

eczema

, an allergic reaction to a product or food. Making dietary changes can help prevent these outbreaks. Flaxseed and omega fish oils have been known to reduce the severity of eczema episodes. It’s also very important to keep the skin moisturized (easier to do now in the summer than during the dry winter months).

Another possibility is that you are experiencing

rosacea

, a redness that occurs when susceptible individuals are exposed to heat, spicy foods or alcohol and causes their blood vessels to dilate. This problem, particularly because it is connected to hotter weather, is more common in summer. Prevention options include avoiding coffee, tea, spicy foods and alcohol, and wearing a sunscreen with both UVA and UVB protection of at least SPF 30.

One last reason for facial redness is

heat rash

, which occurs when sweat gets trapped in our pores and causes inflammation. The best treatment for that is just to stay cool and wear breathable clothing. You can also try touching the roof of your mouth with an ice cube, which often tricks the body into thinking it’s cooler than it is.

Any man experiencing facial dryness will want to use a non-detergent cleanser -- not a bar of soap, which dries the face -- in the morning. You should also use a non-lotion moisturizer that’s noncomedogenic and apply it in the morning and evening.

I can’t promise that these remedies will be cure-alls for your facial redness and dryness, but if you learn how to care for and treat your skin based on its sensitivities, you will be ready to treat outbreaks and ensure they’re not long or acute situations.

You’re in luck, Goggles Paisano!

Not only will NASCAR let you ride on an official Sprint Cup track in a fully loaded 600-horsepower stock car, but -- depending on how many points you have on your license -- the organization will actually let you sit behind the wheel and drive. And if you’ve got it in you, you can get up to speeds close to those of your favorite drivers.

As long as you’re at least 18 years old with a valid license, you can sign up for the Richard Petty Driving Experience and follow in the King’s tire tracks. With a price range of $449 to $3,499, the wheel deal lets you put your pedal to the metal for eight laps in one session, or as many as 40 laps over 40 sessions.

After a five-minute orientation and video, they’ll hand you a racing suit and you’ll get driving instructions from a crew chief, 25 minutes of mechanical and safety instructions and the comforting warning to buckle your seat belt.

You have the option to burn rubber on such hallowed ground as the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Bristol’s high-banked bullring or the drafting meccas of Daytona or Talladega. Go to DrivePetty.com or call 1-800-BE-PETTY to get track schedule information and details on scheduling and requirements. Dashboard Jesus not included. 

Shaving your body might seem a little more intimidating than shaving your face, but the pre-shave process (i.e., hydrating and moisturizing) is pretty much the same.

The first step is to trim excess hair down to about a quarter of an inch with a pair of grooming scissors (this will offer a closer shave and prevent your razor from getting clogged). Next, soften up your skin and hair with plenty of warm water and soap to prevent razor burn and ingrown hairs; shaving at the end of a shower is ideal. Finally, lather on some shaving cream or gel (you can use the same products as you do on your face) and shave with the grain of the hair using short, light strokes.

When you’re done shaving, lock in moisture with a lightweight lotion (just stay away from anything that contains alpha hydroxy or you’ll be in for a bit of a burn).

It’s a myth that you need to use tons of extra moisturizer if you’re going to shave your body -- most shaving creams contain heavy-duty moisturizing ingredients. Plus, now that your skin is hairless, any extra moisturizer that you do apply works overtime because your skin can much more easily absorb it.

The razor has come a long way since it was first invented in the Bronze Age. But even given all the advances in modern shaving technology, a lot of men still experience discomfort during and after shaving.

If you’ve already established proper technique and an arsenal of shaving products, then here’s what you need to look for in a good razor:

High-quality materials, thin blades, an ergonomic handle, and add-ons like lubricating strips and guards. A cheap single-blade razor or a dull blade can tug and pull at hair, causing redness, irritation and even infection, so you really want to invest in a high-quality product with multiple blades. (Stainless steel is the industry standard.)

Also, the thinner the blades, the closer the shave and the more you can cram into the same space. There’s no magic number as to how many blades is ideal, but if you have really sensitive skin, you probably don’t want to go overboard -- in this case, the more blades, the more chance of irritation.

Next, look for an ergonomic handle with some etching or texture for added grip and maneuverability.

And finally, look for add-ons like lubricating strips and guards (often called snowplow guards). They provide slickness and comfort, and remove excess product so that the blades can better glide over the skin. Just remember that while a moisturizing strip provides lubrication, it doesn’t take the place of a moisturizing aftershave product.

Once you find a good razor and a blade configuration that works for you, stick with it.

Ten years of explosive growth has fueled a demand for adding new talent into the game development world. Coupled with the most powerful consoles in history, HD capabilities of the Xbox 360 and the PS3, and the explosion in the hand-held and smartphone market, games are everywhere! And so are jobs for people good at video games.

The employment upside is tons of opportunities for living the dream of getting off the couch and into game development. The industry has a constant demand for animators, visual effects and environmental artists, AI, core and game play engineers, level and systems designers, sound designers and writers.

Getting a game on the shelf takes a village, so there are opportunities even if you’re not a techie. This includes jobs handling business, legal, finance, operations, marketing, public relations, sales, quality assurance, etc. If you’re strong at organizing, communicating and leading, game production or production management may be your ticket.

There are over 50 North American colleges and universities offering undergraduate game design programs, and larger game publishing companies typically have staff building relationships with these programs. One resource worth checking is The Princeton Review, which lists schools offering focused gaming degrees. (The “Top 50 Undergraduate Game Design Programs” list is available at PrincetonReview.com.) Interning is another option for breaking into the biz. Check out the game companies’ Web sites or call their human resources departments for more information.

If you have the passion for video games and want to make a career out of it, find a way to get your foot in the door and work your way into the job of your dreams.

Roughly 25 percent of the adult males who come through my office are there because of acne issues, so this is by no means uncommon.

Part of the reason adults still have acne is simply genetics. The cause can also be environmental -- perhaps you are using a cream that is clogging your pores. Or you sweat a lot. Or you take medications like lithium or steroids. And men, because their bodies have higher levels of testosterone than women, are naturally more acne-prone.

Fortunately, no one -- teen or adult -- needs to live with acne. Medications and treatments have advanced greatly over the past several years, and there are effective treatments for just about everybody.

Of course, we will all get pimples from time to time, and this is nothing to be concerned about. For these occasional appearances, you might want to try an over-the-counter salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide. But where there is a concentration of acne on the face, you should see your dermatologist, who will set you up with a treatment plan.

One of the most potent but effective remedies is Accutane. It’s not always recommended for teens (because it can hinder physical growth) or patients with any of the following:

• certain kinds of depression (especially suicidal depression)
• liver disease
• irritable bowel syndrome, colitis or Crohn's disease
• high levels of cholesterol
• those using medicines in the tetracycline family

Accutane can also make the skin particularly photosensitive, which presents an issue in summertime. But for acne sufferers who don’t fall in any of the above categories, Accutane remains a very good solution.

If you merely want to be vigilant about acne and take safeguards against it, cleanse your face twice daily and take care not to apply hair product within an inch of the scalp. (Otherwise, it can drip onto the forehead and clog your pores.)

Other tips: If you sweat a lot during sports, keep a cloth handy so you can wipe and clean your face and prevent a dirt buildup. Use sunblock and face creams that are noncomedogenic (those that won’t block your pores).

Shaving can also be an excellent safeguard against acne because it exfoliates the skin and helps remove dead layers from the epidermis. Just make sure you shave in the direction of beard growth, not against it (which can cause ingrown hairs), and use a clean blade (changing your blade every few shaves). You should also be using a shaving gel (not cream) designed to help prevent acne. Finally, allow your razor to dry between uses so it won’t harbor bacteria.

It’s not just the muscle guys at your gym deforesting their pits. Have you seen an NBA game recently? These days, it seems like everyone who has to occasionally go sleeveless (or shirtless) is opting to reach for the razor to mow his pits.

But to answer your question, yes, shaven armpits might be itchy and uncomfortable at first. Women (at least the ones on this side of the Atlantic) have simply gotten used to the sensation because they’ve been doing it since they hit puberty. (Isn’t it amazing what they endure to look good for you?)

There are, however, ways to reduce irritation and prevent ingrown hairs in shaven armpits. Using a creamy deodorant or -- if you have extreme itchiness -- a topical hydrocortisone cream can help.

Next, when it comes to maintenance, the same rules that apply to your facial hair also apply to pits: If you’re prone to dark stubble (probably because you have light skin and dark hair), you’ll have to shave every day or every other day to keep your shaven armpits looking smooth and clean.

And as for trimming, it’s simply a matter of what you want to achieve. Most guys trim their armpit hair to reduce sweat and unpleasant odor, not to get a silky smooth beach-ready look. Go ahead and try both to see which one you like better. It’s not like it won’t grow back.

The sort of water you use to shave should not have any effect on the closeness or effectiveness of your shave (though hard water can dull razors -- more on that below). Your skin will typically adapt to the sort of water -- hard or soft -- that you have in your community. That said, if you travel frequently or have just moved to a new area, you may notice a difference in the way your skin reacts after the shave. …

With soft water, which by definition is low in mineral content, you might notice your skin feeling a little smoother or a little more oily.

With hard water, which is high in mineral content, you might feel like there’s residue remaining on your face after you’ve washed or shaved.

While hard water does boast a few benefits -- high quantities of calcium or selenium in your water can help with such problems as seborrhea or psoriasis --water-related skin problems tend to be the result of hard water.

If your exposure to hard water is prolonged, any adverse post-shave reactions should pass after a few weeks as your body creates the right amount of oil to compensate. In the interim, there are a few things you can do to avoid discomfort from shaving with hard water:

• To prevent mineral buildup on the razor blade (which will dull its edge), be sure to wipe it clean after each use. You may also want to rinse it with distilled (not tap) water.
• After your shave, to minimize irritation, follow up with a super-gentle moisturizer.
• If necessary, use a mild cortisone cream to ameliorate skin flare-ups.
• When all else fails, wash and shave with distilled water, and the problem should vanish.

As for anyone who has hard water at home and whose skin does not react well over the long term, attaching a device called a water-softener to your incoming water supply may be in order.

There are steps you can take before, during and after the shave to ensure the best performance.

Before the shave, find a blade that works well for you and your face -- not all are created equal. Hold the razor head under hot water, shake off the excess drops and begin. (Rinsing with hot water removes any residue from your last shave -- plus it feels unpleasant to put a cold razor head against your warm face.)

During the shave, rinse the razor frequently -- usually after a couple of strokes. If a razor is full of lather, it will pull and tug at the hair (which leads to ingrown hairs, razor bumps and the like) instead of cutting it.

After the shave, replace the blade as soon as you feel it getting dull (usually anywhere from three to six shaves). I’ve noticed that some guys will just bear down harder when the cartridge gets dull, squeezing out a few more shaves -- but more pressure causes cuts and ingrown hairs.

Hair on the torso can be a problem, and when you’ve got a ton of it, it’s just not attractive. You’ve got to help nature out a bit and redesign it the way nature could have done it. Chest hair or torso hair works when it’s not too long and also doesn’t look like you trim it.

How long should chest hair be? That’s the tricky part, but usually 1/2 to 3/4 inch long looks natural.

The best way to trim chest hair is by using clippers with either an adjustable guard or a set of different removable guards. On the chest, hair can all pretty much be one length. On the abdomen, you’ve got to navigate around the line of hair beneath the belly button. Women find the “treasure trail” there sexy, so you want to keep it longer -- maybe by not trimming it at all and just clipper-ing around it.

If you’re just cleaning up the non-chest areas and don’t have much hair on your abdomen anyway, shaving works. Just leave the treasure trail alone.

Originally, aftershave just had one purpose: to disinfect. Back when people actually went to the barber for a shave, the blades weren’t always perfectly sharp, and more importantly, they weren’t always completely disinfected between customers. Aftershave, which was basically a scented rubbing alcohol, was a good way to prevent bacteria (and another person’s blood) from causing a nasty infection or even a potentially life-threatening disease.

Today, most aftershaves still contain alcohol as one of the main ingredients, which acts as both a disinfecting agent (to eliminate harmful bacteria) and a toner. But aftershave, like the rusty straightedge, has come a long way.

Not too many years back, first-time shavers who splashed on some of their dad’s aftershave would feel the burn (the sum of open pores plus nicks plus alcohol). To help solve that problem, more and more aftershaves are now formulated with hydrating and moisturizing ingredients like aloe and glycerin. They can’t replace the alcohol, but they work to protect and balance your skin.

Plus, just like you now have the options of five blades instead of two, there is an endless variety of post-shave splashes, gels and lotions that promise to do everything from eliminating breakouts and tightening pores to reducing razor burn and maybe even preventing wrinkles.

The key is choosing the right one that will work for you, and it’s actually pretty simple: Determine your skin type and then look at the ingredients.

Here’s one method to gauge your skin type: Take a piece of tissue paper and blot your forehead and nose. Does it look like a napkin after you’ve blotted a piece of pizza? Bingo: You fit the oily skin profile.

If you have oily skin and are prone to more breakouts (or if you suffer from ingrown hairs), stick to an alcohol-based splash, balm or gel and look for ingredients like witch hazel, tea tree oil and salicylic acid -- they act as drying agents and can help deep-clean pores and follicles.

On the other hand, if you have especially dry or sensitive skin, a lotion can help hydrate parched skin cells and soothe irritation. For moisturizing, look for ingredients such as aloe vera.

If your main concern is redness, choose an oatmeal-based product -- oatmeal contains natural anti-inflammatory agents, making it Mother Nature’s original cure for itchiness and irritation.

To paraphrase, you’re wondering if the axiom “never let ’em see you sweat” also applies to shaving? The answer, my whisker-loathing friend, is yes, it does. Even for the most hirsute, as long as you’ve given yourself a good shave that morning, you should be able to make it to the end of the workday without looking like Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski.

But if your face needs a quick once-over before you start your night on the town, try to find a more appropriate place than the office loo. After all, do you really want your co-workers to walk in and find you in shaveante? Imagine the performance anxiety you’ll feel as your boss waits for the sink while you shape your sideburns.

Instead, a better option is to take your scruffy visage to the gym. As you dive into your Dopp kit in the locker room, dream of the day when you’ll have your own private bathroom at the office. Then, young man, you can shave at work to your heart’s content.

It’s the efficiency of electric razors that I find most bothersome. They are efficient and fast, but they deprive a man of a practice that is an ancient one. Wet shaving makes you contemplate. It makes you stop. It’s a ritual that’s deep in our psyches. Rubbing a machine over your chin while you speed down the highway at 70 mph is not in our primal nature.

Apart from the emotional benefits of shaving with a manual razor, the process is also superior when it comes to exfoliating the face. There is nothing like washing, soaping, shaving and toweling to keep your skin looking younger and more vibrant. And there’s no question that you get a shave that lasts longer. Even proponents of the electric razor will give you no argument in that regard.

Believe me, I’ve been barbering for 41 years. If someone came in to my barbershop and said they had an electric razor that was superior to a manual one, I would definitely use it. But that simply hasn’t happened.

 

Think of it like a seasonal wardrobe change: Now that it’s time to shed your heavy winter parka and sweaters in favor of lighter polo shirts and shorts, you need to take the proper precautions to make sure you’ve erased (or at least lessened) the tolls of winter on your skin.

First, think about what your skin has been through these last few months: The cold, dry air and fierce winds most likely caused chapping, flaking and irritation, and the moisture has pretty much been zapped. It’s time to slough off the old and slather on the new.

Scalp
Let’s start with your hair. Your scalp is particularly vulnerable to the elements, especially if you’re the type to shun the wool ski cap in fear of “hat head.” Even if your noggin isn’t showing signs of flaking or redness, it couldn’t hurt to add a rebalancing and moisturizing treatment this time of year. Look for a shampoo and conditioner containing vitamin E, protein (silk or soy), shea and botanicals (usually labeled “moisturizing,” “scalp purifying” or “reparative”). Now on to your mug …

Skin: Exfoliate
As the mercury rises and the humidity increases, the sensitive skin on your face suffers the first stages of PTSD, Post Traumatic Seasonal Disorder. (Yes, we made that term up.) This is a critical moment, when it’s time to call in the buffers and the greasers (aka the exfoliators and the hydrators).

First, start with a deep exfoliation treatment to loosen and remove dead skin cells and open up pores. This step is especially important before any kind of hair removal because it helps provide a closer, smoother shave. Look for a product that contains an acid -- glycolic, alpha hydroxy acid (AHA) or salicylic acid (BHA). Scrubs that contain natural ingredients like apricot pits and walnut shells sound effective, but they’re actually quite rough and can cause microscopic tears in the skin.

Skin: Hydrate
If you’ve been using a thick moisturizer during the winter, you might want to switch to a lighter one for warmer weather to avoid clogged pores and breakouts. Look for a product that contains natural oils and botanical extracts (shea butter, green tea and grape seed extract), with an SPF of at least 30. (The American Academy of Dermatology recently upgraded its minimum SPF recommendation from 15 to 30.)

Skin: Rebalance
Not to get too girly on you, but all the chicks are doing rebalancing face masks at this time of year in order to attain that “spring chicken” glow. You can buy a premade version at the drugstore (just look for words like “hydrating” and “balancing”) and it only takes 15 minutes to work. Or if you’re really feeling especially MacGyver-ish, hit the fridge. Mash up half a banana with a dollop of plain yogurt, a squirt of honey, a handful of oats and a splash of green tea, and you’re good to go. Think of it like the breakfast of champions … for your face.

Humans shed about a million cells per hour. That’s good news for dust mites, because our skin cells are food for them. Thus, the more skin cells in your bed, the more dust mites -- which can exacerbate both allergies and asthma.

On top of mites, there can be all sorts of other ingredients in bed with you:  semen, vaginal matter, fecal matter, perspiration and athlete’s foot fungus. Given this, it’s just common sense that if you leave your sheets unwashed too long, you’ll be creating a party for bacteria, fungus and viruses. Add the fact that some people also eat in bed, and the area between the sheets can become quite a party for bacteria. These microscopic creatures can cause skin irritations, intestinal problems, staph infections and even flared-up allergies and asthma.

So I recommend you wash your sheets once a week.

If you have white sheets, I recommend you wash them with bleach, which will kill the germs. If your sheets are not white, use a color-safe bleach or a detergent with a peroxide agent.

If you don’t have a washer at home and use the Laundromat, run the washer for five minutes (with bleach) before adding clothes -- this will sanitize the washer. (Simply disinfecting with a sanitary wipe will not capture all potential pathogens).

While microorganisms should not be feared (many play a good role in maintaining our health), many of the ones in our households can harm us. By taking sensible -- not extreme -- steps, we can give our bodies a much greater level of protection from the harm such pathogens would do us.

Resist the temptation to run like hell while she is in the bathroom.

If you really need to cut the date as short as possible so you don’t stab yourself in the eye with a fork, summon the waiter while she’s in the john. Give him your credit card, ask for a 20 percent tip to be added to the check ASAP (to spare you the back and forth of adding a tip), and explain that you have to leave because of an emergency.

When she gets back, apologize profusely and reveal that you just got a call informing you that your bathtub is overflowing and leaking into your roommates’, neighbors’ and landlord’s spaces. (Of course, you’re making all this up -- only Hugh Hefner’s bathtub would cover this much real estate.) Any variation on such a possible, imminent, but not fatal, disaster is fairly acceptable. If you look agitated enough, she’ll be distressed for you and hopefully help hasten your departure. Thank her for being understanding and let the host know it was nothing about the venue/food -- just a personal “emergency.”

In the future, learn to prescreen better. For blind dates, in particular, trade more photos and engage in at least one reconnaissance phone call. And never trust your mother’s hairdresser’s roofer’s best friend’s cousin to set you up.

With proper technique, you can receive almost the same benefit on stairs as you do performing lunges in the gym. Namely, you’ll improve tone and strength in the glutes, quads and hamstrings -- the three visible leg muscles everyone wants to firm up.

Stair Climbing for Fitness: Rules

Rule No. 1

: Slow down. Your emphasis isn’t on endurance or aerobic capacity, it’s muscle building, so you don’t want to cheat by using momentum to propel yourself upward.

Rule No. 2

: Take the stairs two at a time. If you’re really tall and the motion feels comfortable, take three, even. And no hands on the railing.

Stair Climbing for Fitness: Technique

To start the exercise, place your left foot two stairs higher than the right. Bend your left knee forward so your shin is at nearly a 45-degree angle to the stair. Place all your weight on that left foot, then lift your right leg upward. (Make sure you’re not launching with the back foot because that would create momentum.) Plant the right foot two (or three) stairs up and repeat the exercise, distributing all your weight on it as evenly as possible. Even two or three flights of stairs work great.

America’s desks tend to look like dump trucks. Truth is, it doesn’t really take a MacGyver to put all the pieces together to form a cohesive, productive work space.

If you want to increase your productivity, think of your desk as prime real estate. Clear off your entire desktop and rebuild it with only the most essential, frequently used items. Don’t squirrel away unnecessary supplies; store only what you’ll need for the next three to four weeks. Try to use a desk has at least one or two drawers, and store items that you use just once a month away from your workspace -- preferably on a shelf. And for items you use even less frequently than that? Store them in a closet, large container, under your bed or in a bookcase.

As for “in” and “out” baskets, they’re only part of the solution. Find an incline sorter or small desktop file and fill it with your most important files for every project. Create a file for action items, business cards to enter into your database, bills to pay, receipts to file, project ideas, items to read and so forth. Use specific names for files you will use frequently or consider labeling folders with broad category names. Then motivate yourself to maintain the system at the end of the day or once a week. As your needs change (and they will), be smart, review your supplies once or twice a year and clear out useless or duplicate items.

Finally, remember that getting organized is not a one-stop, get-it-all-done-in-one afternoon kind of event. It’s progressive, and you’ll need motivation and self-discipline over the long haul to make it happen.

Essential Supplies of the Productive Office:

• Stapler
• Tape dispenser
• Paper clips (big and small)
• Sticky notes (large and small)
• Binder clips
• Scissors
• Letter opener
• Pens, pencils and a highlighter
• Notepad
• Mail supplies (stamps, envelopes, notecards)
• Tissues
• Trash can (the largest your space can accommodate)

You need to shift perspective on what a gift is. It's a token of appreciation, something that says "I like you" or "I know what you're into.” It doesn't have to be determined by a holiday, nor does it have to be extravagant. A random cupcake can be a gift. Or a cool frame for that picture she loves of her and her dog.

Secondly, the right time to give a gift is when you think of a good one. Go with your gut, bro. No woman ever said, “He's just too thoughtful too soon.”

For Valentine's Day, the size of the gift should be directly proportional to the amount of time you've been dating and the depth of your relationship. If it's a young romance, get something small. If you've got some baggage together, go all out. Most importantly, she wants a gift that makes her say, “He totally gets me.” Random jewelry and gift cards are appreciated, but presents that reflect your interest in what matters most to her will always win her heart.

As Don Corleone would say, “Keep it in the family, and no one will get hurt.”

There are five fragrance “families”: floral, oriental, woody, fougere and fresh. And the best way to make sure your scents aren’t clashing (or competing) is to stick to scents from the same family.

Figure out the smell you like best, whether it’s the pine in your shaving cream or the lemon in your soap, and use that scent to form the base of your grooming scent profile -- everything else should match. Certain smells do work well together, like juniper and sandalwood or cinnamon and orange, but if you don’t have an experienced nose or can’t decode the ingredients on the label, you risk making an olfactory taboo like mixing a musky cologne with a citrusy deodorant (believe me, one whiff of that and you’ll be hopping back into the shower to rinse off).

If you love your cologne, you could also buy the matching products -- many designer colognes now have complementary soaps, deodorants and lotions.

There is, however, a simpler answer, and it involves subtracting from your arsenal of scented lotions and potions. If you buy your creams, soaps and deodorants in a fragrance-free version (often marketed as “for sensitive skin” or “hypo-allergenic”), your cologne -- or scented product of choice -- will shine, and you can switch it up without having to worry about a family feud.

Need another reason to go scent-free-ish? As long as we’re talking about types of “families,” researchers are looking into whether dousing yourself in too much fragrance could harm your family jewels. Seriously: They contain phthalates, which have been linked to certain reproductive disorders. So, at the very least, you might want to avoid adding aroma to your special place till the facts are in.

The reality is that people with larger bone structures definitely tend to have an easier time building mass. (However, there are exceptions to the norm: an example is Frank Zane, an excellent bodybuilder who had a fairly small frame.)

First of all, are you sure you're small-boned? It's pretty easy to determine: Grab a flexible tape measure, then wrap it around your wrist and ankle. If you're small-boned, your wrist will be 5-1/2 inches or less and your ankle will be 8 inches or less; medium-boned, your wrist will be 5-1/2 to 6 inches and ankle 8 to 9 inches; large-boned, your wrist will be 6 inches or more and your ankle will be 9 inches or more.

If you've measured and are small-boned, the end of the world has not arrived. One: You've got plenty of company. Two, you've actually got an advantage against bigger-boned dudes -- smaller wrists and ankles make the muscles on your forearms and legs look larger than they actually are.

Plus, you can still bulk up, but you'll need to gear your workouts and meals to gain muscle mass by training with a high volume of multi-joint exercises (squats, power cleans, bench press, etc.) instead of isolation moves (biceps curls, leg extensions, etc.) and downing extra calories. (Depending on your size, you should aim to increase your daily food intake by 700 to 1000 calories from a variety of food groups.) Try German volume training: ten sets of ten reps with the same weight for each exercise, and only one exercise per muscle group, such as bench for chest, shoulder press for shoulders, barbell rows for back, and squats for legs.

The phenomenon of wanting to end a friendship, be it with another guy or with a woman, is a universal one. It’s usually a mutual thing, and both parties just naturally grow apart.

But sometimes one becomes aware of it before the other does. Your friend is still trying to stoke the embers while you see where it’s all headed. And that’s the time to put your feelings out there -- in a note.

Although breaking up through a letter can feel like the coward’s way out, it actually allows for you to compose your thoughts without needing to explain things on the spot. It also provides the other individual an opportunity to reflect on what you’ve said, and if need be, to respond thoughtfully. To reinforce the point, you might explain: “I'm writing rather than calling because I want you to have something to read and digest at your leisure.”

From that point, say what you need to say upfront so you’re not building toward something the person doesn’t see coming. You might want to be as straightforward as: “This is hard for me to express, but I think we need to end this friendship, and I want to tell you why.” You can go on to say something along the lines of “This relationship has long been valuable to me, and I’ve learned a lot from it, but when I think about it, our lives have taken us in different directions. I don’t want to give the friendship just a part-time effort, or worse, feel like I need to fake it.”

Overall, you’ll want to explain the situation in language that’s caring but gently honest. You don’t want to prevaricate with the idea that you’re sparing them pain. They’re going to feel pain. But by your being honest, they won’t be grieving even more later, when they realize you haven’t been straight with them.

You might conclude by letting the other party know that if he or she ever wants to talk about the matter face-to-face, you’re available to do so. And if it does come to that, make sure you reiterate your feelings calmly. If you’re hit with a comment such as “This is a horrible thing you’re doing to me,” you might reply that you understand why the person is angry and that you realize anger can take a long time to subside. But reaffirm that you don’t want to make a pledge to restore the friendship when it’s a pledge you know you can’t keep. Offer to contact the person in a month’s time -- not to rekindle the relationship, but out of respect for the friendship you’ve shared.

Painful though this process will be, in the end you’ll be doing the both of you a favor.

In general, “scoring” during an interview depends on more than simply having an answer ready for every question. Interviewers are interested in your attitude and maturity, your work ethic, your professionalism and how well you communicate. Regardless of the job, they’re also evaluating you as a problem solver, a team player and someone who wants to learn and grow.

When you get an unexpected question, the most important thing to do is take a moment to ponder, “What can I say that is authentic and professional?”

In the end, honesty is best. This might include saying that you don’t have an exact answer or even admitting that it’s a challenging question. What doesn’t work is posturing, sugarcoating or pretending you know something you don’t. Gaining the interviewer’s respect will always be more important than having a “perfect” answer.

I won’t ask how long you’ve been sporting this Cro-Magnon beast (maybe you kept hoping the caveman look would come back some day?), but now that you’ve manned up to the task of taming it, there are a few things you should know.

First, maybe you should think about switching barbers. A good barber should have taken care of this the last time you got a haircut (with a little tact and a lot of skill). But if you want to try and tackle it on your own, we’ll tell you how.

Second, it’s an old wives’ tale that the more often you shave, the thicker the hair will grow back.

That said, take a beard trimmer, switch it to the No. 1 or 2 setting (for a close cut) and run it over your eyebrows to thin out the hair. Then use a razor to remove the hair in the middle. For a guidepost on how much hair to remove, use the inside corner of your eye -- that’s where the brows should start. Next, use a pair of tweezers to remove any other superficial hairs and flyaways, being careful to stay away from plucking the arch of the eyebrow -- that’s when you’ll risk looking too manicured. And believe me, your girlfriend doesn’t want to be seen with a man whose eyebrows look nicer than hers.

If this is starting to sound too complicated, consider heading to a salon esthetician. She can help determine the best shape for your brows (straight or with an arch) based on your face shape and features. But stay away from waxing -- it looks more obviously “manscaped,” and the hair grows back unevenly.

If you’ve read this far and your unibrow is starting to get cold feet, don’t worry: We heard they’re casting extra werewolves for the next Twilight movie.

Yes, you should worry about hearing loss. Everyone should. What matters is how long you listen and at what volume. Loud noises destroy the microscopic hairs in the inner ear that transmit sound to the auditory nerve. The hairs never recover and cannot be repaired, so do your best to avoid loud noises today, tomorrow, forever. Volume is measured in decibels (dB). Normal conversation registers about 60 dB; most restaurants, 70; vacuum cleaners, 80; motorcycles, 90; jack hammers, 100; rock concerts, 100 to 130; and gunshots, 140. Hearing damage begins with exposure to volume over 80 dB, and the longer it lasts, the more damage you suffer. About those earbuds: Don’t listen at a volume greater than about half of what’s possible with your MP3 player (the levels of which vary wildly -- anywhere between 100 dB and 120 dB -- all of which are too loud for auditory health). Another way to tell if you’re over-cranking: In quiet surroundings, hold your earbuds at arm’s length. If you can hear the music from that distance (two to three feet), the volume’s too loud. Anyone exposed to loud noise -- musicians, rock fans, construction workers and motorcycle and gun sports enthusiasts -- should wear ear protection, either foam ear plugs available at drug stores or, ideally, custom-made ear protection.

Before you get together, send your classmates an update -- and give them a link to your LinkedIn or Facebook page -- so when you meet, you’ll already have points of reference; things to talk about.

In person, you’ll want to have nice enough conversations that you can follow up with a phone call or conversation afterward. If you’re looking for business, keep in mind that the setting is social, so you’re never going to close a deal then or there. Talk too much about work, and you’ll freak them out. There will be time for that later.

Another thing I try to do is find out how I can help other people -- more than how they can help me. It pays off. If I have a friend in their business or know someone who can help them out, I try to be the conduit, the connector.

Getting ahead in your career is 90 to 95 percent networking, and it’s based upon the trust that you build up in your personal relationships.

There’s no easy answer as to why you get them. Ingrown hairs are more noticeable in men with really thick hair -- as ingrown hairs are more prevalent in people with thick hair -- or dark hair with light skin. However, there are a couple of key things you can do to heal them and prevent future outbreaks.

First of all, it helps to understand the evolution of an ingrown hair: After hair removal, as the hair starts growing back, the sharp tip of the hair curls back in on itself and digs into the skin, leading to inflammation and irritation. If you do get one, remember this mantra: Put down the tweezers. Plucking ingrown hairs invariably fails and causes additional irritation. Instead, try applying an over-the-counter cortisone cream to help relieve inflammation, then head to a laser dermatologist for laser hair removal (no, not removal of all your hair -- just the problem ones). Realistically, laser’s the only long-term solution for ingrown hairs.

Electrolysis isn’t practical because of the number and thickness of hairs involved. And as for waxing, well, remember the 40-year-old Virgin? Enough said. 

There are as many answers to this question as there are individual situations.

First off, let’s back up a second: Unless your company has a severance policy or plan, or you have rights under an employment contract, the company has no legal obligation to provide severance pay. If you are getting severance, keep the following in mind:

If you’re part of a large layoff, your ability to negotiate will be limited, since your employer may fear that it will have to match any extra dollar it gives you to everybody else in the layoff.

Still, whether we’re talking mass layoffs or just you, ask yourself what leverage you have. Do you have a plausible claim for breach of contract or discrimination? Will the company need to call upon your expertise after you have left?

Loyalty and guilt can be sources of leverage too. If possible, approach senior management as opposed to human resources, because the former is more likely to have the authority and discretion to find additional money for you. Remind them of your accomplishments, the sacrifices you’ve made and the outside opportunities you’ve passed up in the name of company loyalty. Of course, do this in a dignified, polite and responsible way: Unless you’re in a very strong negotiating position, putting your finger in someone’s chest (even figuratively) will likely do more harm than good.

In the challenging emotional climate of the moment, avoid the temptation to do anything foolish, like removing electronic files. A year or two from now, you’ll be flourishing at another company, and you’ll want your former co-workers to say: “Look how well Joe is doing. That’s what’s wrong with this company -- we can’t keep classy people like Joe.”

If your firm hasn’t canceled the party due to financial woes, you’re one of the lucky ones. And forgive me if I’m wrong, but I imagine you’d like to ensure you’re around to get invited to next year’s event too.

First and foremost, know that this sort of gathering provides a rare opportunity to make an impression on the people who matter. So, making multiple runs to the open bar is probably not the best course of action. You don’t need to abstain entirely (this is a party, after all), but know your limits and stop well short of them.

Staying chemical-free will help you avoid 90 percent of those holiday party self-inflicted career wounds. But just to be safe, follow these cues:

• Show up And that’s whether you feel like it or not. Be a team player. Arrive on time and act as though you’re genuinely happy to be there.
  
• Stay If you’re a middle manager, be certain to remain long enough to be seen by the higher-ups. If you’re a senior manager, stick around for your team to get some quality time with you. No one, though, needs to remain till the bitter end.
• Be respectful Now is not the time to unload your list of complaints on the muckety-mucks.
• Keep your pick-up lines in check Hitting on a co-worker is ill-advised unless you’ve both previously expressed some mutual attraction.
  
• Say thank you Don’t forget to express your gratitude to the owner for throwing the celebration -- particularly if you work for a small company. This is an easy gesture, but one that many staffers neglect to do.

If all goes according to plan, you’ll leave the party with your dignity, you’ll leave behind a good impression for the higher-ups, and you’ll be able to look forward to a headache-free morning.

Congratulations on your purchase! We’re sure your mom is really proud.

Now, while you can’t keep them looking great forever, you can get at least ten to fifteen solid years out of them if you follow these four simple rules: clean, polish, restore, rotate.

The clean part is easy. A simple horsehair shoe brush will do, and it only takes a minute or two to take off the dirt and dust. If you want to be even more thorough, use an old toothbrush to clean out hard-to-reach places like welting or under the arch.

As for polishing, you’ll want to do it at least once a month (once a week if you live in a rainy climate). The kind of polish to use depends on the kind of finish you want. For a softer leather shoe (like a driving moccasin), you want a softer finish, so stay away from hard waxes and use a cream-based polish instead. For harder leathers (like wingtips and cowboy boots), you want a shinier look, so choose a hard wax in a slightly lighter shade than the shoe. In both cases, start with a layer of cream-based conditioner -- it softens the leather and acts as a primer for the polish. And don’t worry about waterproofing products. If you polish your shoes regularly, you’ll have built up a good coat of wax that acts as a seal.

Next step: wooden shoetrees. Put them in your footwear every time you take them off. Like those “age-defying” face creams your girlfriend slathers on at night, the trees will keep your kicks looking firm and new -- and most importantly, wrinkle-free. See, every time you take off your shoes (even if you’ve only worn them for half an hour), the toe will have curled up and formed a crease in the front. Trees elongate the leather and bring the shoes back to their original shape.

Now for the most important part: rotation, rotation, rotation. You never want to wear the same pair of shoes two days in a row -- they'll wear out that much faster. Ideally, you should really keep them out of rotation for at least two days: the longer they sit with shoe trees in them, the longer they’ll keep their original shape.  

One more thing: sole protectors (available at any shoe repair shop for around $30). These thin sheets of rubber cover half the sole (the part that gets the most wear and tear), preventing the original rubber from wearing out. After all, you’ve invested so much time and energy in the tops of your shoes, it would be a shame if they bottomed out.

When your boss hands you a cell phone, it feels kind of like an electronic leash.

Many of the problems people have with company cell phones or BlackBerrys are self-imposed. Once they get one, they feel compelled to keep checking it for messages or emails. I coach one corporate client who comes home and locks his cell phone in his car. He checks it once before he goes to sleep. You don’t have to do something that extreme, but you get the point.

You can’t be expected to be able to answer the phone in every circumstance, unless you’re at a job that specifically pays you to be on-call -- like a doctor. If you’ve got a normal manager and not someone who’s an obsessive workaholic with no sense of boundaries, negotiate the terms. Present a plan on how often and when you’ll be available. Say, “If there are times when you’re especially going to want to get in touch with me, let me know, and I’ll keep the phone on.”

And if you do have an obsessive workaholic boss with no sense of boundaries, start polishing up your resume. You’ve got bigger problems than the cell phone.

Information technology (IT) continues to be hot. Specifically, take a look at computer forensics (the forensic science focused on extracting legal evidence from computers and digital storage media), which is increasingly important due to concerns about computer security. Some reputable online courses offer studies in the field, and some colleges offer courses on the subject -- but to be competitive, you need to have majored in it in college. Computer networking specialists and network administrators will also be in demand, and this job can’t be outsourced to other parts of the world. Either a certificate from a technical training program or a bachelor’s degree in the field can open doors. 

Another promising area is education. With an increasing awareness of the importance of men as role models, primary and secondary teaching jobs for men will be widely available. Private schools set their own standards for the qualifications of potential teachers, but for public schools, you usually need to earn a master’s degree in education to get certified.

Finally, there are hot new vocational jobs that don’t require a bachelor’s, mostly in green technology -- like a solar panel installer. These are especially fitting for those who already have experience in the electrical and construction fields.

Absolutely. You can improve your mind’s capacity -- to a degree -- through mental exercise.

We’ve done a lot of studies on memory training and memory performance. The brain is like a muscle in a sense that you can build better efficiency and better accuracy through working out. The key is to make the exercises fun and engaging. It’s been proven, for instance, that surgeons who play video games make fewer errors in the operating room because of the mental activity.

But before you pick up a game console, consider the many new technologies and programs specifically designed to sharpen your brain. Try the simple memory games on the Radica Brain Games hand-held system; on the higher end, there’s also the Brain Fitness System by Dakim.

Like in sports, it’s important to cross-train and not strain. Maybe do crosswords one day and a Sudoku puzzle the next. The other key to keeping your brain healthy is eating habits: A heart-healthy diet is also a brain-healthy diet. Minimize fats from red meats, and reduce fast foods and processed foods.

Unfortunately, when it comes to craving fat and bad carbs, there’s no research showing that humans crave any foods in particular (unless you’re pregnant -- which you aren’t). It’s most likely that you just happen to have a powerful sweet (or fat) tooth.

Still, you do need to eat some good carbs, like nuts or whole grains, after a workout to refill stores of glycogen -- the fuel stored in your muscles that powers your workout. You also need some protein, which your body uses to repair muscles after strenuous exercise. Research shows that protein also helps restock your glycogen. (For best results, you should eat within a half-hour to an hour after working out.)

That said, a great snack that fits the bill is a turkey sandwich on whole-grain bread with a slice of low-fat cheese.

Meanwhile, fruit is a great source of carbohydrates and may help to satisfy your sweet tooth naturally. Have it with some creamy yogurt to get some protein.

Finally, if you’re craving fatty foods, try half a whole-grain bagel with some peanut butter. The nutty spread provides some protein and heart-healthy fats that won’t undo all the hard cardio work you just did.

It’s always easy to look hot in a costume as long as you have the confidence to own the character you’re projecting.

I’ve worked on films where the actors wore ridiculous outfits but buried themselves so deep into their role, they not only pulled it off, but looked sexy as hell doing it. Confidence is seductive, no matter how you dress it up. If you have a presence and you believe in yourself, it will be hot … even if you’re dressed as an Eskimo.

At the moment, nothing is hotter than the undead. From True Blood to Twilight, vampires are getting women’s blood rushing all over the country -- and it can be a very cool look for a guy. It’s just the right combination of scary and sexy. Just get a nice tailored pair of black pants -- leather would be especially scandalous. Put on a white button-front shirt of very sheer or luxurious cotton fabrics with collars, worn open and tucked into the pants. Add an interesting, exotic and expensive-looking necklace (from a thrift store) that looks real enough to be 50 Cent-worthy. Slick back your hair to look particularly refined, and add a cape or a long jacket to embellish the look of exotic opulence.

Now that you’ve gone all Stephen Moyer with your threads, it’s time to add a dash of horror with a little makeup and some spooky accoutrements. Pick up a pair of fangs from any costume store. (Just make sure they’re the kind that make you look edible to women and not like Jerry Lewis in The Nutty Professor.) Then buy a little fake blood from any costume store and drip it from the corners of your eyes or mouth to let people know you mean business. Put a little eyeliner around your eyes and some dark eye shadow below them, and you’ll bore holes through all the beauties in the room. Then make your face pale with some light powder makeup, and you’ll be the hottest dead dude at the party.

Congratulations! You’re frighteningly irresistible! You won’t need a stake to pierce anyone’s heart; just make sure to get home before the sun comes up.

The general rule is that the thickness and length of your sideburns need to be consistent with the rest of your hair. So if your hair is very short, don't grow your sideburns thick and long (and vice versa). I think the length should not exceed the midpoint of your ear, but that said, sideburns can look really great short or long depending on your hair and features. Just like a haircut, it’s all about maintaining balance and offsetting lines and shapes.

Longer sideburns can help balance a face with a long chin, and shorter sideburns can balance a short or weak chin. Oval faces look best with medium-length sideburns (they should end at the cartilage in the middle of your ear); square faces look good with longer sideburns (down to the bottom of your ear); and if your face is round, the only rule is don’t go too short (they will only make your face look rounder).

Finally, if you don’t know what mutton chops are, you probably shouldn’t be experimenting with them.

The easiest strategy is to look at how the movers and shakers have set up their offices. If the person you report to has a neat desk with everything put away each night, follow that model. If he has contemporary decor, mimic that feel with things like stainless-steel accessories or a modern poster. It’s OK if your desk looks different from everyone else’s at your level. Just make sure it resembles the desk of your boss -- he’s your gatekeeper.

The goal is for you to emulate the people who are in the positions you want to attain. That means no troll dolls and no Megan Fox pinups. Nor should you display photos from your last vacation: These send the message that you’d rather be on holiday than at work.

For men, a picture of your family makes you look responsible. (I advise women not to display pictures of their family, because it makes them appear as though they’d rather be with their spouse and children.)

For some people, being an individual is their No. 1 priority. If that’s more important to you than getting a promotion, go for it, but understand what you might be sacrificing. At what point can you stop emulating? Not until you’ve emulated all the way to the top.

Sprinters are made, not born. All athletes can get faster. Speed is nothing more than a product of power and neuromuscular technique, which most of us recognize as “technique.”

Squats and power cleans will help build that explosive power you need for optimal sports performance. Jumping exercises -- single, double and alternate legs -- are also important. These plyometrics will wake up your nervous system. And of course, you should get out and start running but not necessarily in circles. I recommend sprinting up short, steep hills or while pulling a tire: tie it around your waist with a rope so the tire drags behind you, then do three sprints of 20 yards. Rest two minutes between each set. (You’ll need it!) Gradually increase the length and number of your “resisted” intervals, and see how fast you start burning down the court or the base paths as a result.

Yes, your doctor can definitely help you get there during your annual physical --occasionally through tests but mostly by working to create a regimen that keeps your body finely tuned.

It's rare for men in their twenties to have the kind of medical maladies that are diagnosed with blood work. The two most common reasons they're not reaching optimal physical performance are: 1) They're not sleeping well; 2) They're training improperly.

If you're like the typical guy your age, you might be staying up really late one night, sleeping late one or two mornings each week and never getting into a consistent sleep cycle. And you're probably not coming close to an average of eight hours of sleep a night, which is ideal.

As for improper training, when you become so dedicated to reaching your peak (when training for a competition or race, or working out on your own), it's easy to overtrain and suffer from muscle fatigue. Taking rest days and cross-training may help, but every case is unique, so you're better off working through a proper schedule one-on-one with a trainer or your physician.

If you’re sure your sleep habits and workout regimen aren't holding you back, the next likely (but uncommon) culprit could be asthma. Conditions like an underactive thyroid or low iron levels (anemia) are also possible but very rare.

Fear not: You can avoid the kind of de-bachelor-ey party you may regret the next morning (or maybe longer) and still have more fun than flooring the gas pedal in a golf cart.

Try fly-fishing or salmon fishing at a place like the Ausable Wulff River in the Adirondacks. Don’t own chest-high waders? No worries, most fishing spots offer lake and salmon fishing too. And while you’re there, pick a cool camping ground nearby where your buddies can stay in either tents or cabins -- and of course, build a really big bonfire.

Too low-adrenaline for you? Consider formula car racing at a racing school. The pictures you’ll get of the gang in full-length zip-up racing suits will be well worth it (photos you can actually show your girlfriend!).

Bottom line, think outside the box: Don’t pshaw something like a dude ranch. And if you want to go simple and stay local, there’s always a guys-only barbecue bash with all the fixin’s.

There’s no doubt that being well-groomed will be noted in the plus column of any employer.

A recent study indicates that 84 percent of all human resources professionals agree that well-groomed employees climb the corporate ladder faster than those who are not well-groomed. And that makes sense.

When you take the time to make yourself look professional, it indicates that you care -- not only about your personal appearance but about your role in the workplace too. If you are meticulous about how you look, you’re probably taking the same approach to your work. It’s good to express an individual style, but making the effort to simply look good within the appropriate guidelines of your particular professional environment is essential.

Clean up your act, and it will help you clean up on the job.

Common sense says stretching should prepare the body for exertion and prevent injuries. But the evidence is inconclusive. Compared with Australian army recruits who didn’t stretch during training, those who did suffered the same rate of injury.

But among Pennsylvania high school football players, stretching prevented injuries. And even though stretching didn’t reduce injuries in Alabama firefighters, it reduced the severity. Total medical and absence costs were three times greater in the control group -- $235,131 vs. $85,372 among those who stretched.

Even if stretching doesn’t prevent injuries, it does improve range of motion -- which is why the Arthritis Foundation recommends it. And in one Indian study, three months of yoga one hour a day reduced men’s blood pressure, cholesterol and stress, resulting in “improvement in subjective well-being and quality of life.”

Finally, if you stretch in a yoga or Pilates class, women usually outnumber men, so you’ll be well-positioned to find a lady. Just don’t expect stretching to magically immunize you against all injuries. That would be a stretch.

Changing a tire really isn’t too tough. The first consideration is stopping the vehicle in a safe place. Drive slowly with emergency blinkers on until you find such a place -- a solid, level area far enough off the roadside so traffic isn't a major threat. (Beware of soft, grassy areas and inclines.) Under a bridge on an interstate may be a good location because of the concrete surface and wide shoulder area.

Next, keeping the blinkers on, pop the hood up, put the emergency brake on, switch the transmission to park (to first gear if car is a manual) and turn off ignition. If you have emergency triangles, put them out approximately 50 to 75 feet apart.

Next, take out your most important tool, the owners manual, and look at the section on changing your vehicle's tire. The manual will tell you how to remove the jack and spare tire -- which should be properly inflated -- and where to place the jack under the vehicle. Before jacking up the car, loosen the lug nuts with a lug wrench. (If they’re too tight and you can't do it, seek emergency road service, because using too much torque with the wrench can snap the lug nut or strip its threads.)

Put the jack under the vehicle as instructed in the manual. Jack the car up, take out the loosened lug nuts, remove the tire and replace it with the spare, tighten the lug nuts firmly but not tightly, then lower the vehicle back onto the ground. Remove the jack and tighten each nut, targeting the ones opposite each other, not in circular rotation.

Once you’re outta there, replace that spare with a real tire as soon as you can. And finally, first chance you get, have your tires and alignment checked and place another spare in the trunk.

Find a way to save some money and travel to the big tournaments. Do whatever it takes. Get there and win against the best.

After you prove yourself, sponsors become a possibility. I played competitively for about four years in my genre of gaming (first-person shooters) before ever making a dime from it -- I mostly got free stuff for my accomplishments. To make money, you need to compete at the biggest tournaments and find sponsors through your success and popularity.

But keep in mind: There’s a big time commitment. I train about eight hours a day in combat for world championships. When you reach the point that you don't want to do it anymore, you have to keep doing it.

Once you’re an established pro, consider creating your own business. As I did with Fatal1ty, you may be able to create a marketable brand once you've made an impact on the tournament circuit. This could be your next move after pro gaming or possibly your big move and profit-maker that sustains your pro gaming career.

Game on …

You want cleavage? Watch an R-rated movie. On the other hand, if you want an impressive and powerful-looking chest, you’ve come to the right place.

First, let’s talk anatomy. The pec is divided into two parts: the clavicular head (the muscle fibers that connect at your collarbone) and the sternal head (the fibers merging at the sternum, or breastbone).

To build the upper part of the pecs, you want to do exercises that will really fire the clavicular head fibers. This is best done with movements performed on an incline bench.

Start with the incline dumbbell press: Holding two dumbbells, start with your arms extended, directly over your shoulders, palms facing forward. Lower slowly, keeping palms facing forward, and finish where elbows are at a 90-degree angle and forearms are perpendicular to the floor. At full extension, the dumbbells should be 4-6 inches apart. (Don’t bring them together at the top, by the way.)

Next: incline flyes with dumbbells. Your starting position is the same -- arms extended with dumbbells over shoulders -- except on this movement, the palms face each other. Begin by slowly lowering the dumbbells until they’re level with your chest, elbows slightly bent. Then squeeze the pecs, extending, or raising, your arms as if you’re attempting to hug a big tree. Finish back at your starting point, arms extended, with the dumbbells about 10 inches apart. Keep hands stationary and facing each other throughout the movement.

Finally, this upper-pec finisher: a decline push-up. Start in push-up position, with your feet elevated on a flat bench, then slowly lower.

Do three to four sets, of eight to 12 reps each, of these exercises two to three times a week, and you’ll start seeing a bigger sweep in your upper chest. While you may not have cleavage, your progress will be impressive enough to get you a closer look at someone else’s. And we don’t mean that of your training partner.

When your mom said, “Don’t eat greasy junk food; it’ll give you bad skin,” she wasn’t quite right … or wrong, either.

There’s no evidence that certain foods give you blemishes or even cause acne, but there’s no question that diet affects overall skin health. Skin is actually the largest bodily organ, and eating a balanced, nutritional diet has a positive effect on cell regeneration and healing.

Pimples from acne and other skin irritations are caused when pores and hair follicles are blocked with excess oils (sebum) and keratin (a protein that gives skin strength and flexibility) and then become irritated. The oils your body produces have no connection to oils in foods -- though if you wipe greasy hands on your face, it could contribute to blocked pores.

Men in particular can have problems with pimples and irritation because of the large number of hair follicles that make up the beard.

I recommend eating a balanced diet with lots of vitamin A (good sources are apricots, leafy vegetables, liver and eggs), C (found in oranges, lemons and broccoli) and E (potent in nuts, spinach and broccoli). These vitamins contain powerful antioxidants that help repair skin damage.

In particular, vitamin D has been shown to help prevent premature aging and other damage to skin cell structure. Exposure to sunlight helps skin produce vitamin D naturally, and cold-water fish such as salmon, tuna, mackerel, halibut and trout are all excellent dietary sources of the nutrient.

So in a way, mom was right. It’s not that junk food itself makes your skin bad, but eating it won’t help you achieve a balanced diet that promotes good skin health.

In today’s job market, making a positive first impression counts more than ever, so dressing appropriately for an interview is always a good way to start.

Although many industries have adopted a more corporate-casual look for their employees, you’re not one of them until you’ve landed the job. So yes, you still need to wear “interview attire.”

What does that mean? Essentially, you need to dress for the specific industry. Banking, accounting, finance and insurance companies still require more traditional types of interview clothes. I recommend a suit, dress shirt and tie.

Creative industries like advertising, media, Web startups and fashion houses may expect a look that is less formal and more cutting-edge. But that doesn’t mean you can show up in shorts and sneakers. You’ll still be expected to look professional -- in a suit or blazer-and-slacks combo -- though you can likely get away without a tie.

In the end, if you’re not sure what to do, play it safe and make your fashion mark after you’ve accepted the job offer.

A lot of this has to do with your own self-confidence issues. If you clam up around people you respect and are friendly with, it’s probably coming from a feeling that you’re not as smart or funny as they are. You’re giving them a power you feel you don’t have and are withdrawing into yourself -- even though you probably have a lot more to offer to the dynamic than you’re giving yourself credit for.

True, some people tend to be stronger personalities than others in group settings. But you need to ask yourself why you’re allowing yourself to be diminished. You can admire someone without being overpowered by them.

If someone has a particularly strong personality, there are strategies you can employ to make them take notice and respect your role in the group:

• Remember your strengths.
• Lead the conversation into areas you’re most knowledgeable about.
• Ask questions (to prevent having to field all the answers).
• Learn more about the topics you know these strong personalities are interested in and blow them away with all that knowledge.

Then, and probably most important, relax. You are who you are! Be comfortable with that and others will be too.

Sunscreens are hardly the only cause of acne in the hot months (breakouts are caused by bacteria, which are more prevalent in the summer), but lots of suntan lotions aggravate acne because they’re oily. But that doesn’t mean you should skip the sunscreen -- or that you need to settle for pimply UV protection.

There are other options for keeping skin clear and safe from the sun’s harmful rays this summer, such as facial cleansers that include a mild sunscreen. They’re not great for more than thirty minutes in the sun but work for everyday exposure.

Or you can also wash your face with an acne-preventing cleanser and follow that with a regular sunscreen -- and no, it doesn’t have to be a special one for faces. If normal sunscreens do tend to break you out, look for one with zinc oxide, for sensitive skin.

Whatever brand or type you use, don’t forget to wash your face before you go to bed -- you don’t want the sunscreen on your face overnight, since that could really aggravate  your condition.

Piece o’ cake.

When first meeting a cool chick you’d love to have a sister-type relationship with, immediately mention the girl you are dating or your current crush. Later, talk about your favorite “type” of girl and describe someone very different from her -- add to the effect by shrugging your shoulders and looking slightly baffled as to why you’re only attracted to blondes/Asian girls/girls with large derrieres. To hit the point home, ask if you can set her up with a distant friend (regardless of whether you do it or not).

If the conversation gets the least bit flirtatious, change the subject or momentarily move away. Girls are very attuned to subtle hints and body language.

Finally, when you meet a guy she’s dating, repeat how much you like him and invite them out with you from time to time.

Rehearse your speech out loud. Do that as many times as needed to be confident that you know it really well. When the day arrives, don’t read your speech to the audience, but do refer to it. Print it in oversize type and highlight key phrases or the first sentence of each paragraph.

Being nervous isn't a bad thing: Extra adrenaline and endorphins will actually improve your ability to focus. Assume the physical posture of confidence and your mind will follow. Picture giving the speech successfully from start to finish. And while you’re at it, go ahead and imagine yourself receiving a standing ovation.

There will be a day when risk is prudent and stocks will be the play. Even though the stock market may be on the upswing (at press time), there still may be economic bumps ahead, so saving a big portion of your investable money is wise -- and it will show your Dad that you know what's going on in the national and global economies.

One of the biggest risks to your money is inflation, so take 20 percent of it to a reputable coin dealer -- you can find one at the Kitco Web site -- and buy U.S.-minted gold Eagle coins. Since gold is a hedge against inflation, owning gold is a smart investment. If inflation strikes, your gold will increase in value -- your portfolio will not be adversely affected by higher prices and falling equities.

Keep the rest of your cash in a “CD” or Certificate of Deposit. CDs offer higher returns than the standard, vanilla savings account, and since they’re FDIC insured, you won’t lose your money -- even if things turn south in the economy or the bank. You can find a high yielding, FDIC-insured and liquid CD at the Bankrate Web site.

After you’re finished doing all this work, take a minute and pat yourself on the back. In fact, pull up a chair, pour yourself a beverage and turn on “Happy Hour.”

Changing a razor blade after five to seven uses is the average, based on what I hear from customers and my own experience. But it all depends on the hair on your face. The coarser or denser it is, the harder the blades are going to have to work. The blade is supposed to feel extremely smooth on your face, especially when you shave with the grain. So as soon as you’re shaving with the grain and the blade starts to pull, that’s the razor’s way of telling you, “Hey, man, change my blade right now.” Some razors even have an indicator strip that fades with use, an additional sign that it might be time to pop in a new blade.

To make blades last longer, it’s key to clean them when you’re done shaving. It’s easy for hair and shaving product to get caught between the blades -- if those things dry up in there, the blade is not going to work as well. That’s how you get micro-cuts and razor burn.

Also, your best friend is hot water. Use it to rinse out the hair and foam -- tapping the razor against the sink a little will help. When you’re done, put your razor on a dry surface or a stand where it can air dry, because if it’s resting on a wet sink, the blade will oxidize and become dull.

Unfortunately, there aren’t too many career salespeople anymore, so finding one who can give you good advice takes a bit of trial and error. Start by looking for a salesperson who’s in your age range, who’s wearing something -- say, a shirt-and-tie combination -- that appeals to you but has a certain flair. (If he reminds you of your dad, that’s probably not the person for you.) It’s like any relationship: There should be a little spark of something, a little chemistry. If you’re shopping for something to wear to the office or an interview, he should offer tailoring and be able to guide you: how much cuff should show under a suit jacket, where a tie should hit, where your pants should sit, how much of a break you should have, whether to cuff or not. These are the common sartorial questions. Guys hate to try things on, but very few men can wear things off the rack and have them fit perfectly -- so you need to put in the time. And don’t get anything altered while wearing a T-shirt and sneakers: A good store should give you a dress shirt and a pair of proper shoes to wear.
--Taylor Antrim
 

The rule of thumb with most foods is: If it smells and/or looks gross, it’s probably unsafe to eat. When in doubt, toss it out -- it’s a whole lot better to be a little wasteful than a lot doubled over with food poisoning.

However, some foods can look and smell perfectly fine and still contain harmful stuff. To avoid food-borne diseases -- which sicken 76 million people a year, according to the Journal of the American Dietetic Association -- you should always: 

Consume packaged food by its “use by” or “best before” date.

Eat foods with “sell by” dates -- such as meats and dairy products -- within five days of that date.

Toss sliced deli meats after five days.

To further decrease your risk of food poisoning, you might want to take a second look at your fridge, where nasty bacteria, viruses and parasites can lurk. To improve your refrigerator hygiene:

• Don’t let leftovers sit in your fridge for more than two or three days.
  
• Keep the fridge temperature between 34 F and 40 F. (Supermarkets sell thermometers if your fridge doesn’t have one.)
  
• Keep it clean. Wipe up spills before they become science projects.

Don’t think you have to entertain or make sure they know all your positive attributes (they’ve already heard them -- guaranteed!).

Do three simple things:

1. Observe Attentiveness and eye contact is key. Did someone get up to take plates into the kitchen? Grab a few and follow them. Dad’s beer almost empty? Ask if he wants another.
   
2. Ask The easiest way to be likeable is being interested in them. GF’s brother installed the ceiling fan? Really? Fascinating! How’d he do it? And the lasagna: a family recipe? Riveting!
   
3. Remember In hour one, GF’s mom mentions that GF had a cat named Buttons when she was a little girl. Nothing will impress Mom more than your asking about Buttons in hour three.

While $300 is relatively affordable, it’s still quadruple the price of a decent standard-def DVD player. Blu-ray is definitely worth this higher cost if you have the right TV setup. If you don’t, you may not notice the spike in quality.

To appreciate the high-definition images, you need an HDTV with at least a 42-inch screen -- and you’ll really see the benefit if your TV’s 50 inches or larger. But you won’t see any improvement if you hook your Blu-ray player up wrong, so make sure to use a component-video, or preferably, an HDMI connection (don’t even think about using those yellow composite cables).

One advantage of Blu-ray -- and high-def in general -- is that you can sit closer to the screen than you could with older, analog TVs -- at least when you’re watching stuff in high-def. Sitting at a distance about twice the screen size will do the trick (example: a bit more than eight feet from a 50-inch TV).

For surround sound, you’ll want an A/V receiver than can either accept or decode Dolby TrueHD, which will give you way better sound than the Dolby Digital from DVD.

So, to sum up: If you have good TV and sound system, Blu-ray can blow DVD away.

Well, first of all, congrats! Your choice will expand your dating pool to include nonsmoking babes while drastically lowering your chances of getting lung cancer. Respect.

As for the how-to, the No. 1 rule: Don’t go cold turkey. The likelihood of failure is too high.

Here are some techniques to help you wean yourself off cigarettes for good. I recommend using them all -- the more weapons in your artillery, the better your chances for winning the battle.

• Nicotine patches They look like square opaque adhesive bandages and send nicotine into your blood through the skin. Now you just have to deal with what to do with your hands and mouth.
• Zyban This oral medication kills cravings with one awkward side effect: It can make you a bit hornier than usual.
• Acupuncture Tiny needles go all around your ear. This treatment is so popular, even hospitals and clinics perform it for all kinds of addictions. It’s worked in Chinese medicine for thousands of years, and it can work for you.
• Deep breathing Learning how to breathe -- and not just in an involuntary reflex kind of way -- can produce a calm similar to smoking, which forces you to think about taking deep breaths (something we rarely do during the course of the day).
• Tea tree oil toothpicks Munching on these little sticks can satisfy that oral fixation and give you something to do with yourself now that you aren’t holding a butt.

Finally, stay away from smoking friends and activities as much as possible, and don’t be shy about reaching out for support. For more help, call 877-YES-QUIT.

Bragging rights come to those who can boast an impressive one-rep max bench press. But you need to prepare for that heavy effort -- almost as if you were training for a race. I recommend an eight- to 10-week buildup. One workout a week should be your heavy-chest day, where you do five sets at a weight you can handle for three to six reps. Low-rep heavy sets will build the muscle and tendon strength you’ll need. The other key workout should focus on the assistor muscles in the bench press -- shoulder, triceps. Do this once weekly too.

After four to five weeks, you can gauge where you are by taking the top weight you've progressed to benching for three repetitions and adding 5 percent to that weight for a single rep lift. Example: Say when you started the program, the best you could do for a set of three repetitions was 195 pounds. After five weeks, that weight has increased to 210 pounds for three reps. For the halfway mark, you'd increase that weight by approximately 5 percent (roughly 10 pounds), for a lift of 220 pounds for one rep.

If you make that lift and think you can go higher still, add 5 to 10 pounds more and attempt another single. This will establish where you are at the halfway point. The next week, you'd go back to training with sets of five and three reps, until the eight or 10 weeks are up and you’re ready for your “final” one-rep attempt.

Doing single reps is a performance lift, not to be overused or abused. It's one of the most common mistakes I see in the gym: guys maxing out at every single workout.

No worries. This is totally normal, for men and women alike.

The easiest way to explain it is that we were all similar little blobs of fetal tissue before genetics and hormones (estrogen and testosterone) kicked in to enable lactation in some (females) and not in others (males). Your nipples are feeling sensitive because there are tons of nerve endings on them. Range of sensitivity can go from none to extremely sensitive -- in both good and bad ways. It’s purely the luck of the draw -- it doesn’t have to do with size of the areola or anything like that.

For men, nipple action can be a huge turn-on, excruciatingly annoying or as dull as getting your elbow licked. Don’t use telepathy in trying to get women to know this about you. And use words, which are much more effective than convulsing in agony when a girl breaks out a move she learned from her last pro-nipple boyfriend.

Though texting has its time and place (such as the pithy heads-up that you’re running five minutes late), it should be viewed as a supplement to -- not a replacement for -- live communication. No matter how fast and furious you are on your keypad, it’s only natural that your sweetie pie longs to hear your voice. Show her you’re way smarter than your cell’s T9 prediction and practice picking up your phone rather than just pecking at it.