Men's Life Today: Expert Q+A

I've been dating this girl only a couple of months. I like her a lot and want to get her something for the holidays, but I don't want to freak her out. What's a good gift in this situation?

Women love to be pursued and courted. But at this stage, you should not be spending a large amount of money on a gift. For two reasons: First, if you give her an extravagant item now, you’ll be setting the bar very high, and at a level you might not be able to maintain for long. Second, you might scare her away by appearing to come on too strong. At the beginning of any relationship, there’s a fine line between creepy and romantic.                     

Even though you’ve been dating for only a couple of months, you probably already have some inside jokes between you and have had some interesting discussions about her passions or things you share in common. Think about a gift that ties into those conversations. Something that seems generic, like a book, suddenly becomes thoughtful if it’s on a subject she’s talked about nonstop. For example, if she’s shared with you how she’d love to visit a particular country, get her a travel guide for that country. (This can also be a teaser of next year’s gift … a trip to that destination!)

Another idea is to gift an experience. Chances are she will remember an experience for far longer than a material gift. If she’s a fan of a certain musician, buy tickets to see one of his shows. If she has a favorite sports team, go to one of their games -- and know that you don’t need to buy pricey box seats. If she has a favorite restaurant, take her there, or if it’s too expensive, buy her the restaurant’s cookbook and make her a meal from it.

I encounter many men who get their girlfriends no gift at all because they don’t want to get it wrong. Rather than going that route, when all other ideas escape you, know that ye olde faithful -- flowers and chocolate -- still go a long way.

Above all, women want to know that their men are listening to them. She’ll be more touched if she gets a gift that incorporates something she mentioned to you three weeks ago. This shows you care and will count for a lot. Let’s just hope she hasn’t been talking nonstop about diamonds!

Note from the editor: Wondering what kind of gift she’ll be getting you? Here are some hints from Brilliant Color and Beauty Today’s “The Ultimate Gift Guide for Him” and grooming gift ideas she’s reading at Life and Beauty Weekly and The Style Glossy.