Love Lessons From Teen Movies of the 80s

In the golden age of teen flicks, it seemed like everybody got lucky on the big screen. Turns out these classic movies offer some real life lessons -- especially when it comes to dealing with the ladies. Here, five films that are entertaining and educational.

The art of love is a delicate thing. That’s why we take our cues from the experts. We’re talking about the classic big-screen, teen-steam machines … like Anthony Michael Hall, Jon Cryer, and the Pepé Le Pew of the pubescent scene, Kevin Bacon!

Yes, these high school anti-studs, who somehow bumbled their way into the hearts of some of the finest teen babes from The Breakfast Club to the Joel Goodson bordello, offer a fine road map to finding romance -- even if you’ve already made that wrong turn at Albuquerque.

Here, some of the key lessons you need to study to score an “A” in Love 101 … or just to score.

Footloose (1984)
Sex education: You may not be in the cool clique, but if you dance (like a man), baby, and stay true to thyself, you’ll step right into her heart forever!
Big-city Kevin Bacon might as well be ET when he crash-lands in a one-plow town where American civil liberties apparently don’t apply. No music! No parties! No dancing! Hell, no freakin’ Flock of Seagulls! So when the moussed-up, future Mr. Sedgwick shows up in shrink-wrapped jeans and a ripped-up sweatshirt, he executes a foolproof plan to dance his way into the heart of the hottest girl in town (Lori Singer), defeat her fire-and-brimstone-preaching pop (a dance denouncer) and bring joy to the masses in the process. But once Bacon kicks off his Sunday shoes, the town loses its oppressive laws, Pop loses his religion and Lori Singer chucks her virtue into the bargain. The lesson here: You gotta be you … unless you happen to be Kevin Bacon -- he’s stuck with being him. If you have confidence to let your freak flag fly, women will know you’re the real deal.

Weird Science (1985)
Sex education: You can manufacture confidence, and when you do, it’ll bring you action.
It would take a miraculous scientific breakthrough for super nerds Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Illan Mitchell-Smith) to get a girl to notice them … so they plug a program into their SUV-sized computer and … Oingo Boingo! Say hello to the hottest digital development until the iPod: virtual vixen Lisa (Kelly LeBrock). Her mere presence alongside Gary and Wyatt makes these guys the coolest kids in school and the high schoolers with the hottest chicks. But it was more than just the virtual girl that got them action; it was the real confidence she gave them to prove that geeks can get freaky with the best of them. So remember: You don’t have to be cool to draw some heat … just gotta act it.

Pretty in Pink (1986)
Sex education: If you’re a good friend, you’ll get a girl -- it just might not be the girl.
Money-challenged Andie (Molly Ringwald) is in love with richie-rich Blaine (Andrew McCarthy). But Blaine’s snobby buddy, Steff (James Spader), wants him to dump her for someone more appropriate to his social set. But even more tragic is that Andie’s Salvation Army-styled best friend, Ducky (Jon Cryer), who’s hopelessly in love with her, has to convince Blaine that she’s worth more than all his friends combined. Sadly, he’s successful and Blaine blows off the snobs for Ducky’s dream doll. But wait! Ducky then gets plucked from the prom crowd by smokin’ hot, future vampire slayer Kristy Swanson … who admires his character! The lesson here? Friendship and loyalty lead to love -- at least for Jon Cryer, who gets action that’s way over his head. So be nice, kids -- clearly it pays off!

Risky Business (1983)
Sex education: Put yourself at risk for a chick, and you can melt her heart.
Joel is a good kid with hydrogen-fueled hormones. He’s working to get on Princeton’s short list, but he’s no genius with the ladies (which is kinda weird since he looks suspiciously like Tom freakin’ Cruise). So when his friends dial up a not-quite-lady of the evening, who directs him to a sweetie with more up top and less between the legs … it’s unlikely love at first credit card swipe with superhot Lana (Rebecca De Mornay). And while Joel looks like an easy mark, his selfless efforts to save her from her somewhat menacing pimp (we actually think L. Ron Hubbard is scarier than Joe Pantoliano) cause her to fall head over hooker heels for him. Also? He gets into Princeton! Remember, though: Paying for sex never pays off … unless, you know, you’re Tom Cruise and you’re in a movie that says it does.

The Breakfast Club (1985)
Sex education: Clichés can date outside their own species.
Wondering what happens when you gather a jock, a geek, a thug, a princess and a freak in the same room for detention? To find out, you must first find some actors who are at least eight years out of high school to play them. (Hello, Judd Nelson! How’s the AARP treating you?) Then, despite the fact that they all hate everything the others stand for … they’ll just open up to each other like they never have to even their closest friends or parish priests. Once they discover they’re all just struggling, decent kids underneath their choreographed exteriors, they’ll mate like bunnies in a breeding farm -- except for the geek (Anthony Michael Hall), of course -- he’s got a girlfriend in Canada! So don’t despair! Remember there’s someone out there for anybody -- as long as you’re willing to ditch your own adorable, antisocial persona … and you’re into the ‘80s band Tears for Fears.

 

The 2011 Summer Movie Preview

2010 was a season of remakes, sequels and superheroes. So what’s in store for 2011? You got it: more remakes, sequels and superheroes. We run through the summer movie lineup and tell you which films look worthy of a trip to the theater.

Super 8
Release Date:
June 10
You don’t expect a train wreck when J.J. Abrams and Steven Spielberg collaborate, but that’s how Super 8 opens: Some local kids shooting a movie next to a railroad cause an almighty crash. And then things turn strange. Dogs go missing. The military moves in. Apparently the train was on its way from Area 51, and Elle Fanning and Kyle Chandler (Coach Taylor from Friday Night Lights) are caught in the thick of it. Abrams knows his way around a crash (“Lost”) and an alien invasion (Cloverfield). This will be a wreck worth watching.

Green Lantern
Release Date:
June 17
In a strong field of superhero movies, Green Lantern does its best to shine. Ryan Reynolds receives a mysterious green ring and finds himself embroiled in an intergalactic struggle to preserve peace in the universe. Equipped with tight pants, a breakneck script and a zillion dollars’ worth of special effects, he jets off into a world of elaborate aliens and extremely high stakes. Warner Bros. threw everything at the wall for this one, and it appears that most of it stuck.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Release Date:
July 1
Reviewers hated Transformers 2, and yet it made more than $800 million worldwide. If you listen really carefully, you can still hear director Michael Bay having the last laugh. In part three of the trilogy, he dares to tamper with his winning formula. Not only has Megan Fox been replaced by Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, but Dark of the Moon incorporates something that Transformers 2 did perfectly well without: a proper story.

Horrible Bosses
Release Date:
July 8
Audiences were roaring at the screenings of this one -- a hard R comedy caper, in which three friends decide to get together and murder their bosses. Cue much bungling, hilarity and (if you liked The Hangover), a great night out. It’s seemingly one of those rare times that a stellar cast lives up to its billing. Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis (“SNL”), and Charlie Day (“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”) are the hapless killers. Look out for a degenerate Colin Farrell as one of the bosses.

Captain America: The First Avenger
Release Date:
July 22
America could use a hero about now, and if the buzz is to be believed, The First Avenger will not disappoint. For years, Marvel junkies have debated the choice of director Joe Johnston (The Wolfman) and the casting of Chris Evans (Scott Pilgrim vs the World) in the title role. But then they saw the trailer in the Super Bowl commercial break, and all doubts were set aside. Evans plays a weakling -- too puny for the army in World War II -- who is transformed into a muscle-bound, Nazi-bashing superhero. Tommy Lee Jones plays the drill sergeant.

Cowboys and Aliens
Release Date:
July 29
Fresh from Iron Man II, director Jon Favreau had a question: What if aliens landed in the Wild West? It’s the sort of question that writers mull over in coffee shops instead of working. Like: What if zombies took over Nazi Germany? Or: Who would win in a fight -- vampires or the Mafia? Except this time, Favreau actually made the movie. And with a cast that includes Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford and Olivia Wilde, Cowboys and Aliens may just have “blockbuster” written all over it.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Release Date:
August 5
Between earning his Ph.D., debuting his art installations and sawing his own arm off with a tiny knife, James Franco has somehow found time to play the lead scientist in the prequel that explains how Planet of the Apes came about in the first place. A drug test on chimpanzees leads to a dramatic increase in their intelligence until they escape their laboratories and vie against humans for supremacy. Forget the Charlton Heston movie of 1968 -- this time, the apes look like apes.

Conan the Barbarian
Release Date:
August 19
For years, the story of Conan has been inextricably linked to another myth -- that of a young Austrian muscleman who became governor of California. It was Conan that launched Arnie more than any other movie. So Jason Momoa, the former “Baywatch” star, has his work cut out for him. But he has the muscles, he wields a good sword, and his lines are juicy: “I live, I love, I slay, and I am content.” Worth a look, if only because Momoa may be headed for bigger things.

Photos: DreamWorks Pictures & Warner Bros. Pictures/ Wikimedia Commons

The Ultimate Gift Guide for Dad

Do you even remember what you gave your dad last Christmas, or the Christmas before that? If you don’t, then he probably doesn’t either -- or doesn’t want to, anyway. This year, gift him one of the father-son experiences described below, or come up with one of your own. Either way, neither one of you will forget it anytime soon.

Rent a Beast
There may be a dad in America who doesn’t get a kick out of a Mercedes-Benz SLS with the gullwing doors or a gleaming new Porsche Panamera. It’s possible. But so is life on Venus. So why not take your dad’s car into the garage for a full wash, wax and detail, and rent some dream wheels for a day? Pick a cozy restaurant 200 miles away, set the GPS and just drive. Remember to bring a camera. He’ll want it framed.
BWRentACar.com

Get Tickets for Game Day
Whether it’s football, baseball or college basketball, there’s a sport that gets your dad’s blood pumping. So get tickets one day for just you and him. It doesn’t matter if they’re in the nosebleeds; you’ll yell and cheer and eat hotdogs. After all, this is why sport was invented: for fathers and sons to bond. Let it happen. 

Catch a Gig
Not all of the bands in your dad’s record collection are getting wheeled around nursing homes. Many are still performing. Bob Dylan, the Beach Boys, Billy Joel and Bruce Springsteen all played this year -- and that’s just the B’s. Your dad will never forget the day you sent him down memory lane. And you know what? It beats Justin Bieber.
TicketLiquidator.com

Go Fish
Just because the snow’s thick on the ground doesn’t mean you and dad can’t go fishing. You just need to pack differently: mittens instead of a sunhat, a thermos instead of a cooler. To spend an afternoon on the ice, bobbing through crust for walleye or perch, has all the lazy bliss of summer fishing -- but with a dangerous edge. Quality time slows down on a lake, and conversation often veers into uncharted waters. As Herbert Hoover said, “All men are equal before fish.”

TakeMeFishing.org

Fix It
Fathers long for the day that their sons might ask to help build or mend something around the house. It doesn’t matter what it is -- fixing a motorbike, laying down some tile, mending a fence or building shelves. What matters is that you build more than just shelves when you work on a project like that together. Find that project, mention it to the old man and watch the happiness spread across his face. 

Shoot and Score
Here’s a Second Amendment remedy you can believe in: Shooting. It’s a blast. And it’s as American as apple pie. Spend a father-and-son afternoon on the firing range unloading with every kind of gun you ever saw on TV. If dad’s the NRA type, a day on the firing range is nothing short of a slice of heaven. But even if he’s not, he’ll still have the time of his life. Because all men are boys and all boys love guns.
NRAHuntersRights.org

Spend a Day at the Races
The sport of kings and degenerate gamblers, horse racing is also a great day out for the family. The sheer spectacle of the crowds, the thoroughbreds, the thundering hooves. The surge of excitement when the gates snap open and the galloping begins. Share a little flutter with the old man and shout yourself hoarse. If either one of you wins, it’ll be a day he’ll talk about for years. 

IlDado.com ; FrontRowKing.com

Be a Chef
The father-son team is a beautiful thing. At the holidays, even more so. So here’s how to do it, to be the son of all sons. Just as the giant family dinner looms, suggest to your dad that you and he make the dinner for a change. Just the two of you, a team of two. Your mother will love putting her feet up, and your dad, just watch him swell with pride. Top it off with matching aprons and chef’s hats.

Fly
Now, here is a good time that everyone should try at least once: Indoor skydiving in a vertical wind-tunnel. As a giant fan blows up at you, you’re above the ground, supported by a cushion of air. An instructor teaches you how to do somersaults, flips and tricks. You and your father can be an acrobatic sky troupe together, tumbling in unison.

IFlySFBay.com ; IFlyUtah.com ; IFlyHollywood.com

Go Rock ’n’ Roll Bowling
There are some things in life that are universally popular, regardless of age, gender or background -- like ice cream. Or a night of rock ’n’ roll bowling. Your dad may be a bowling fanatic, in which case this is a slam dunk. But even if he’s not -- and this is the beauty of bowling -- he’ll have a great time. It’s said that the families who bowl together, stick together. You could make it just a father-son thing, or get the whole family involved. Either way, Dad’s the team leader, needless to say.

The 1st Annual MLT Razor Awards

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Over the last year, it’s become pretty obvious that facial hair is here to stay -- though not necessarily as a permanent fixture -- on the faces of many of your favorite famous faces. Some grew fuzz, shaved it off, then started over. Some stopped shaving altogether and grew full-out bushy beards. Other perma-shaved, clean-cut, all-American guys continued to inspire the rest of us.

To honor these beacons of facial hair management, we hereby institute the first ever Annual MLT Razor Awards. Here are the winners:

Most Stylish World Cupper: GERARD PIQUE
This devilishly handsome soccer player from Argentina even got reluctant females to watch soccer right to the last match! Sure, he’s got those dark eyes and that solid jaw. But how sexy is his well-trimmed beard? Folliclewise, note the tidiness of his cheek area. And check out the well-proportioned neck margins (where the beard ends and the rest of the neck prevails). His facial hair practically spells out “winner.”


Best Return-to-the-Razor: BRAD PITT

One would have though Pitt was working on the next Pirates of the Caribbean installment this past year, what with that rubber-banded growth protruding from his face that practically screamed “Ahoy!” Brave? Aye! But why cover up that perfect mug? Pitt bladed his face to its full former glory this summer. (Just for the record, we would shave every day for the rest of our lives if the good Lord were to gift us a face like his.)


Best Nouveau Goatee: TIM MCGRAW and KOBE BRYANT

The singer and the athlete tie for making this somewhat-tired, ubiquitous growth style seem cool and new again. Perfectly trimmed -- but not over-shaped -- their look whispers masculine and confident.


Best Use of Goatee to Reveal Character Traits by a Superhero:
ROBERT DOWNEY JR.
Our favorite superheroes always have smooth cheeks … and we love them for it! But RDJ in Iron Man 2 used his razor skilfully while growing a rebel goatee. A superhero using facial growth to tell us about his inner demons? We consider this revolutionary.

 
Best Post-prepster Icon:
ANDERSON COOPER
Here’s the perfect marriage of a bare, smooth, boyish face and the markings of maturity. CNN’s intrepid reporter Cooper remains boyish with his clean shave; but his silver-fox hair reminds us he’s been around -- and knows what he’s talking about!

 


Best Perma-staches:
EDDIE MURPHY, JOHN WATERS (both pencil styles) and HULK HOGAN (horseshoe)
These guys are the die-hards: lifelong members of the Mustache Hall of Fame. To these men, we say: Congrats for staying true to your trademark growth.

 
Best Return-to-work De-bearding:
JON HAMM
Hamm is a clean-shaven style icon on the TV series “Mad Men” (even if he is always on the verge of 5 o’clock shadow). Yet he had let loose on his hiatus with a full beard this year (perhaps to show off his facial hair’s range?). Most of us were relieved to find the barefaced Don Draper we love and admire when the new season started. For now, his position as Modern Retro American Style Paragon is safe.

Greatest Facial Hair Versatility:
RYAN GOSLING
Gosling has looked fantastic with a nerd mustache, roll-out-of-bed stubble, a college boy’s full beard and a preppy, clean-shaven look … all in the span of 12 months! Our co-workers would totally mock us if we ever attempted this!

 


Best Swashbuckling Beard:
JAKE GYLLENHAAL
Gyllenhaal needed something to compensate for that “abbreviated” battle outfit he dons in Prince of Persia. Luckily, he gets to wear a skilfully manicured just-barely-there beard that makes him look both rugged and noble.

 

The Clean-shaven Icon Award: JULIO IGLESIAS

The multilingual singer from Spain, loved the world over, has seldom dabbled with facial follicles over the almost half century he’s serenaded us. And true to form, this past year, Iglesias kept his chiseled face tan and classically clean-shaven.

 

 

Meanwhile, his son, ENRIQUE, definitely wins the award for Best Soul Patch! Hats off to a discreet hair tuft on a face every bit as smooth and handsome as daddy’s.

Champion Soccer Players Rock Styled Facial Hair

We can’t quite put a finger on it (probably because it’s soccer and you’re not allowed to use your hands), but a growing trend seems to have sprouted on the soccer field ... like the hair on your face.

It’s clear that throughout the history of “the beautiful game,” global soccer stars have found their brush with greatness accompanied by the brush on their mugs. Not prone to hyperbole, we’re saying that their cleverly appointed facial hair was not only their signature, but the factor that sealed the deal to their worldwide success. (And we say that with confidence, because we’re pretty sure we don’t exactly know what “hyperbole” means.)

In the annals of soccer greatness, many majestic mustaches and beards have adorned the lips, chin and -- in the worst cases -- ears of the game’s biggest names. Join us as we examine the evidence that is as plain as the hair on the faces of these soccer giants. Meet the all-trim team of soccer’s hairy Hall of Fame.

Rudi Voller, Germany

This brush-beaked German played 90 times for the national team during the 1980s and 1990s, racking up an amazing 47 goals, which included eight biggies during the World Cup -- all of which were scored with his signature magnificent mustache. Germans everywhere modeled their above-the-lip hair after their national hero, whom they affectionately called “Tante Kathe” (Aunt Katie) due to his mustache’s faithful companion: his long, curly and graying hair. (Our Aunt Katie prefers to go for light ash blonde, but that’s just how it is here in the crazy USA!)

Socrates, Brazil

The term “genius” is thrown around quite a bit in sports. But that word truly seems well suited for the man who was a genius at soccer … and style. (Hey, if you can’t give that moniker to a guy named Socrates, who sports a brilliant beard, who can you give it to?) His sweetly styled brush matched his panache on the pitch as he captained and starred in 60 games as a midfielder with spectacular soccer sensibilities on some of the greatest Brazilian teams of the 1970s and 1980s.

Roger Milla, Cameroon

This African legend is best remembered for roaring like a graybeard when he scored four goals to take his country to the quarterfinals at the ripe old age of 38. But he’s also fondly remembered for showing up for the 1982 tourney with a bodacious beard that became the fledgling team leader’s signature during the African nation’s heroic stand that saw them go unbeaten in the first round. With Milla’s leadership, Cameroon forced draws against established powerhouses, including the eventual winner Italy, before bowing out bloodied (and of course, bearded) but definitely unbowed.

Djibril Cisse, France

This Ivory Coast-born, Iberian bad boy has sculpted his scrub so many different ways we can’t figure out his strategy for the future. But for today, his game face is one of the most famous on the planet. One of his country’s biggest scorers, he still is better known for the singular style of his brush than for his play. Having said that, he was one of the stars of the troubled and disappointing French team at this year’s World Cup. But no one can say his beard didn’t show up ready to go for each and every game.

Alexi Lalas, USA

Landon Donovan’s getting all the action as the glamour guy of American soccer these days, but when our USA boys broke out on the big stage in 1990, the face of the sport in our country was Alexi Lalas. And that face was prominently plumed with one of the coolest goatees this side of Iron Man. Looking like a blend of Yosemite Sam and that dude from the Spin Doctors, Lalas had a style that matched his flamboyant play as he introduced the game to grunge and American soccer to the elite level in the 1990 and 1994 World Cup and in the 1992 and 1996 Summer Olympic Games.