Sports mascots have set ’stache-sporting records for decades. Yep, we’re talking about those psychotically smiling guys with heads big enough to require their own weather systems, who stalk the sidelines in support of your favorite teams. We asked Lana DeDoncker, senior stylist for New York City’s Downtown Magazine, to tell us which macho mustaches are worth emulating, and how to get the look if you’ve got the spirit.

Bernie Brewer (Milwaukee Brewers)

Here’s a guy who anybody would want to get behind … especially when he whips down a slide behind the outfield wall into a pool of Pabst Blue Ribbon whenever a Milwaukee Brewer bangs one into the bleachers. His blond handlebar brush suggests a blue-collar man’s man who puts his heart and soul into giving hard-working Americans an old-fashioned good time. Says Lana … “Obviously, this is an exaggerated characterization of the American ideal of a working man. The mustache is beyond cartoonish, but you can imagine it being modeled on that of a broad-shouldered brewer of the early 20th century. If you’re looking to emulate a look, that’s not a bad one to shoot for -- he looks like a young Robert Redford as the Sundance Kid. To achieve it, simply grow your mustache as thick and as far out beyond your lip line on either side of your mouth as possible. Make sure to groom around it; if the rest of your face is cleanly shaved, it’ll emphasize the impressive size of the ’stache itself. Then use a little mustache wax to brush the ends so they extend from your cheeks. Not too much, though. This is supposed to look mean and natural.”

Mr. Redlegs (Cincinnati Reds)

The reigning Mustache Monarch in all of sports, this guy has a baseball head the size of a medicine ball and a mustache to match. A popular ESPN commercial spot about a network mustache contest pits the Big Red Machine mascot against Cincinnati’s reigning National League MVP Joey Votto and broadcaster John Ravetch. When Ravetch and Mr. Redlegs go nose-to-nose in an uncomfortable men’s room confrontation (is there any other kind?), Ravetch’s threat -- “You’re going down!" -- sounds as empty as the brains of the cast of “Jersey Shore.” Says Lana … “The only way to measure this mustache is to compare it to the wingspan on a stealth bomber. But the look, of course, is an outsized version of a very cool style favored by ballplayers in both the 19th and 20th centuries. To approximate it, you’ll need to dampen your ’stache and comb it flat with a small mustache brush. Your strokes should start out in the middle and fan out to the ends. After rinsing your brush, apply mustache wax to it and stroke your mustache with the same motion, ensuring that the wax permeates all the bristles. When you’re done, squeeze a little wax onto your fingertips and twist the ends up in an upward and outward motion so that they point to the sky and give you that Wyatt Earp look that kept Kevin Costner up to his chaps in chicks in the mid-’90s.”

Pistol Pete (Oklahoma State University Cowboys)

The gun-slinging sidekick of the OSU Cowboys has a waxed-out ’stache with thin turned-up ends, allowing for evil finger-twisting opportunities not seen since Snidely Whiplash was lashing Dudley Do-Right’s dame to the train tracks every Saturday morning. Sadly, Pete had his pants pulled down -- or, more accurately, his mustache yanked off -- by a rival mascot at a game between OSU and Utah State a couple of years back. We were treated to one of the best mascot brawls on the books, but when Pete’s brush was revealed to be fake, it effectively shot his reputation to hell. Says Lana … “Pete put up a noble fight to preserve his school’s honor, but after he was stripped of his ’stache, he became a cowboy exposed as being full of bull. If you want to replicate this cheesy look anyway, just head to any costume store with $1.99 for a brush that wraps around your mug with a rubber band. Not where you want to be, boys.”

Viktor the Viking (Minnesota Vikings)

If you’re seeking that special Lord of Asgard look, this is your man, er, god. Modeled after a Norse warrior, this dude sweats more testosterone than an MMA pay-per-view event. He also offers an axe and shield as key talking points to anybody who might want to publicly doubt his total dudeness. Says Lana (a little weak-kneed) … “This guy is more macho than the entire Marine Corps. If you can grow a ’stache this … virile … here’s how to keep it in shape. First, you’ll want to trim it down to a controllable level with a pair of grooming scissors: To do so, dampen the hairs with water and comb down. Working from the middle out and continuing to comb the strays down before each clip, use a small pair of mustache scissors to snip across the bottom of the mustache for a smooth, even line. Then do the same to the outer edges of the top down to the outer edges on the chin for distinct parameters. Now that you have your outline, you can trim the bulk of the inner mustache. Don’t cut too much at first! This will allow you to judge how short you want to go. You can always cut more, but you can’t put anything back. Now comb through it once more to root out any hairs you might have missed and snip them off. You’re done, Olaf! It’s time to growl into the mirror, grab your axe and head out for a glamorous evening sacking the town!”

All Photo Credits: Getty Images

Seems like every summer the sunglass industry (with a little help from Hollywood) honors its favorite decade by reviving a classic from the past. But just because Brad and Leo can get away with Aviators on the red carpet, and the entire male cast of Gossip Girl is partying in reissued Clubmasters like it’s 1959, doesn’t mean you should run out and buy a pair of either -- at least not just yet.

“The rule with sunglasses, just like regular glasses, is that you want to offset the geometry of your face shape,” says Kenny Moscot, co-owner of Manhattan’s famed 90-year-old Sol Moscot Opticians. “If you have a strong jawline or cheekbones, you want to look for glasses with more curves. If you have a round or oval face, you want to look for boxy rectangular frames.”

And unlike trends, your face -- of which there are five basic shapes -- is here to stay. Here’s each kind of mug along with which kind of frames look best.

Round
“Remember this mantra: Round glasses on a round face only make your face appear even rounder,” says Moscot. Instead, look for boxy or rectangular frames to introduce some lines and angularity to your face.

Framous Icons: 1950s Beat Generation, Malcolm X, Johnny Depp 

Try: Ray-Ban’s newly reissued Clubmaster, $140, available at Sunglass Hut (or find a retailer near you at the Ray-Ban Web site); Moscot’s Zelig (Henry Kissinger-esque), $199; Nebb (for Hipsters), $179. The last two are available at Moscot stores.

Square
If you have a prominent jawline, you want to draw attention to the top part of your face (and away from the bottom -- the widest part). “Look for top-heavy frames with some curves to help soften and balance your face,” says Moscot. Square-faced men can’t go wrong with Aviators.

Framous Icons: Fighter pilots (Tom Cruise in Top Gun), G-men (Will Smith in Men In Black)

Try: Ray-Ban’s original Aviator, $130, available at Macy’s (or find a retailer at the Ray-Ban Web site); Tom Ford’s Charles Aviator, $320, available at Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus or Bergdorf Goodman stores.

Oval
You want to visually offset the length of your face, so choose a shape that covers as much of the space between the top and bottom of your nose as possible (known as a deep frame). “And absolutely stay away from small or geometrical frames,” says Moscot. “They’ll make your face look even longer than it is.”

Framous Icons: Run D.M.C. and the ’80s hip-hop scene; the entire cast of “Entourage”

Try: Prada Linea Rossa, $275, available at Neiman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue; Polo Ralph Lauren 3039J, $160, available at Sunglass Hut.

Heart-shaped
“Offset a wide forehead and cheekbones with rimless narrow frames,” says Moscot. They’ll draw attention away from the narrowing of your face (downward toward your chin) and prevent the top half of your face from looking bigger.

Framous Icons: Marathoners, police officers, Barack Obama

Try: Ray-Ban 3217, $150; Oakley’s Nanowire 2.0, $300. Both are available at Sunglass Hut and Macy’s.

Pear-shaped
Downplay a strong chin and jaw with semi-rimless or top-heavy frames. “They create an optical illusion by drawing the eye up toward the top of your face and away from the widest part, the bottom,” says Moscot.

Framous Icons: Lance Armstrong (semi-rimless), Buddy Holly (top-heavy)

Try: Oakley Half-Wire 2.0, $175, available at Sunglass Hut or Macy’s; Moscot Lemtosh, $180, Moscot Web site.

You’re sitting across the table from a girl who’s so hot even you can’t believe she agreed to go out with you. Things are going well ... that is, until you slip your hand beneath the table to graze her leg and find your fingers tangled in the forest of her straggly, overgrown leg hair.

Horrified? Fair enough. But have you ever considered how she might respond to your unkempt underbrush? In the interest of fairness, we asked our no-holds-barred Men’s Life Today Girl Panel™ to share their real feelings about your head-to-toe topiary. We think you’ll find the results enlightening.

Samantha, 21	Danielle, 23	Veronica, 24	Stacey, 24	Stella, 24	Natalia, 25

Chest Fur
“Unless you’re a professional swimmer and must rid yourself of all body hair, there is no excuse for taking it off. I like a hairy chest. Nothing too insane, though. I’m trying to date within my species.” -- Veronica

“Very curly chest hair is not attractive.” -- Samantha

“Trimming to make it less ‘mountain man’ is OK -- but straight razor-shaving is not.” -- Stacey

Untamed Tummy
“No garden, please. I like to find the bellybutton. Keep hair the same length as the chest so it looks uniform.” -- Stacey

“If hair consumes the stomach to the point that we don’t know what he’s hiding under there, I say it’s time to trim, boys! Put the clippers to work. Show me what you’re working with. Let me see those abs!” -- Danielle

“A ‘happy trail’ never fails.” -- Stella

Plush Pits
“No girl wants to see a ’fro magically appear every time you lift your arms, so keep it short.” -- Stella

“You Tarzan, me Jane. All men should have armpit hair, but I can’t imagine it ever being a deal-breaker if someone doesn’t.” -- Danielle

 “Just shower.” -- Stacey

Fuzzy Forearms
“You should always have hair here -- unless people are mistaking you for Teen Wolf, in which case I would recommend you make some changes.” -- Danielle

“Do not shave your arms. Ever. In the words of Liz Lemon of “30 Rock,” ‘That’s a deal-breaker, ladies.’ As long as I can still see some actual arm, it’s not a problem.” -- Veronica

Back Blanket
“Ew. Do whatever it takes to make it all disappear!” -- Danielle

“Back hair is gross and unattractive.” -- Samantha

“Back hair is never -- I repeat, never -- sexy. If it looks like a bear rug is peeking out from behind your collar, please take it off. All of it.” -- Stella

“A hairy back beats bacne, I guess.” -- Natalia

Below-the-belt Brush
“If you expect me to maintain, don’t think you can slack off. Clean it up a little, but be wary of stubble if your lady friend keeps it bare below the belt. It could cause some uncomfortable stubble burn.” -- Veronica

“If you cut an inch, you can ‘grow’ an inch ... if you know what I mean.” -- Stacey

“If it’s a jungle down there, let’s just be friends.” -- Danielle

Long-haired Legs
“Hair? Yes, please. Let it be.” -- Stacey

“If you’re a woolly mammoth everywhere else, the legs are the last thing you have to worry about.” -- Natalia

“I’m the only one that’s supposed to be smooth!” -- Danielle

“They better be hairy, or I’ll wake up and think I’m spooning my best friend.” -- Veronica

Bottom Line:
“Be comfortable in your own hairy/hairless skin. Some ladies like a hairy man, some like it less so. But trust me; we aren’t climbing in bed with you because your armpit hair is perfectly groomed or because we can see our reflection in your waxed chest. If you ever end up dating a girl that makes specific body-grooming requests, she isn’t worth your time.” --Veronica

“Try to strike a balance between rugged and delicate: Give me some neat, well-groomed body hair that tastefully shows off your masculinity, and surprise me with some baby-smooth skin I can run my hands across.” -- Stella

“Hair on a guy represents his manly side (in my opinion) but too much hair makes the guy look like a Neanderthal.” -- Samantha

“Just keep a clean face and you’re golden.” -- Natalia


Photo: @iStockphoto.com/ranplett

Tired of wearing Nikes to the beach to contain the smell? Sitting on your heels at picnics to hide your hideous feet from view? MLT talked to foot experts about the most common problems that affect our most used and abused appendages, and how to fix them. You might never make it as a foot model, but your paws will be good-looking enough to take out of hiding.

Problem: Smelly Shoes

What it is: No need to explain … we’ve all experienced it at some point.

Why you have it: Odor-causing bacteria thrive in dark, damp spaces, making your sweaty shoes an ideal environment.
How to get rid of it: Wear socks made of natural fibers and alternate between different pairs of shoes daily to give them time to dry. You can also spray them with Lysol or special shoe spray designed to exterminate odor, sprinkle them with medicated foot powder or baking powder, or simply pop them in a Ziploc bag and stick it in the freezer overnight. “The cold temperature will kill most odor-causing bacteria,” says Dr. Jacqueline Sutera, a podiatrist at Manhattan-based City Podiatry.

Problem: Smelly Feet

What it is: Pew! Even if you throw your shoes out the window, the smell won’t go away.
Why you have it: “Most times, smelly feet are caused by infection,” says Sutera. Telltale signs include yellow nails, blisters, flaky “dry” skin, peeling, itchy skin, rashes, and red or white rough patches.
How to get rid of it: If you spot any of these, make an appointment with a foot doctor. The problem will only get worse if left untreated. If, however, your feet look shipshape -- they just smell of rotten fish -- there are some simple steps you can take: Lather up and scrub in between your toes when you shower; then let them dry off completely. Dust them with a deodorizing foot powder or cornstarch to absorb moisture, or spritz with foot deodorant/antiperspirant, either over-the-counter or prescription-strength. “You can even try your favorite underarm deodorant,” suggests Sutera.

Problem: Corns and Calluses

What it is: “A callus generally refers to a more diffuse thickening of the skin, whereas a corn is thicker and more focalized,” says Dr. Jonah Mullens, a podiatrist with sports medical group SOAR in the San Francisco area. Most of the time the problem is just aesthetic, but sometimes it’s painful, infected, and won’t stop getting bigger. If that’s the case, see a podiatrist.
Why you have it: Corns and calluses are the result of skin thickening in response to excessive pressure -- from tight footwear, for example -- usually in combination with some friction. “The skin thickens to protect itself,” explains Mullens.
How to get rid of it: After showering, Sutera suggests using a pumice stone or foot file. Gently rub the toughened skin in one direction; if you go back and forth aggressively, you’ll just rip the skin and make it rougher. A special foot moisturizer with lactic acid, urea or alpha hydroxy acid should be used on a daily basis.

Problem: Fungus

What it is: Fungal infections of the feet (like athlete’s foot) can cause dry skin, redness, blisters, itching and peeling. Toenail fungus causes thick, brittle, discolored yellow nails that can be painful under pressure.
Why you have it: The warm, dark and moist environment in our shoes is the ideal place for fungus to grow. Sometimes it can spread to the nail. An injury from soccer or skiing, for instance, can create a damaged portion of the toenail where fungus can easily get in.
How to get rid of it: Try an over-the-counter antifungal powder or cream. If you don’t see results within two to four weeks, Mullens advises going to the doctor, who might prescribe an oral medicine. To prevent infections, keep feet clean and dry by wiping down the area between your toes after showering and changing your shoes and socks regularly.

Problem: Ingrown Toenails

What it is: Skin on the side of the toenail gets irritated, causing swelling, odor, pain and redness.
Why you have it: We’d make a bet you were a little too aggressive with that nail trimmer.
How to get rid of it: Cut your nails in a gently rounded shape, and avoid hacking into the corners. “If the skin does become inflamed, try soaking the toe for 10 to 15 minutes in warm water with Epsom salt three times daily,” says Dr. Jennifer Saam, a podiatrist in Bellevue, Wash. “If it’s not improving, you may need antibiotics or even a procedure to remove the offending portion of the nail.”

Problem: Dried, Cracked Heels

What it is: The skin around the edges of the heel thickens. Sometimes it cracks, which can be pretty painful, especially if the cracks are deep enough and get infected.
Why you have it: From going barefoot or wearing sandals or flip-flops regularly.
How to get rid of it: Once your skin softens in the shower, shave the hard spots with a callus razor. After toweling dry, slather on a good moisturizer. Do so right before bed, suggests Dr. Saam, and stick on a pair of socks so the moisture will penetrate your feet while you sleep.

Ah, summer, at last: surfboards and swizzle sticks, swimmies and softball mitts … and skin that’s so burned, dry or broken out, you can forget about shaving. To avoid the latter -- yep, it’s avoidable -- we sought advice from two pros who’ve seen more than their fair share of damaged dermis. And if you, like us, insist on doing everything bad for you anyway, we’ve got recovery strategies so you can soon return to your favorite summertime activities -- and regular shaving regimen -- without having added years to your face.

Prevention, Prevention, Prevention
As the owner of the Alma G. Salon in Manhattan -- a favorite of celebs, including Ashton Kutcher and freshman “American Idol” judge Steven Tyler -- Alma G. is a firm believer in preventive measures to keep your skin in tip-top shape. Wearing sunblock is foremost among her precautions. “I recommend SPF 30 for your face and 15 or higher for everywhere else,” she says. “Apply it 15 to 20 minutes before you go outside to let it fully soak in. If you’re engaging in activities where you’re sweating a lot, reapply a couple of times during the day.”

Daniela Pranjic, spa manager of the Paradisus Punta Cana and the Paradisus Palma Real resorts in the Dominican Republic, encounters many guests who -- having been pent up all winter in North America -- zip off to the Caribbean for a quick dose of sun and sand only to come back looking like a roast. “You need to take it easy, especially in those first few days,” says Pranjic. Before you jeer at those clueless vacationers, note that the same applies to the early days of summer, wherever you live. To prepare for your first big spate of outdoor activities, Pranjic recommends drinking lots of water and juices. Clothing-wise, a hat and sunglasses are a must, and she also suggests UV-protective shirts.

Can’t wait to hit the pool? Go for it, but note that chlorine can deliver a one-two punch: stripping away your sunscreen and drying out your skin. To deal with the latter, just remember to re-lube after getting out of the water. You won’t need sunblock for a nighttime dip, but you might consider rubbing on some baby oil, which will repel the chlorine from your skin and thus keep it from drying out. And though chlorine kills germs in the water -- a good thing -- it’s not so good for your face. “It will make you more prone to blackheads and whiteheads,” says Alma G., “so it’s important to exfoliate after you’ve been in the pool.”

If chlorine is killing your complexion no matter what precautions you take, try going for a dip in the ocean instead. Although it’s still important to wear sunscreen, saltwater can work wonders for the skin. “It acts like a scrub and dries out irritations,” says Alma G. Surprisingly, blowing sand can also have benefits, acting as an exfoliant. But if you’re going to spend an extended period of time exposed to this ocean-side loofa, make sure to slather on a good moisturizer before and after, lest your skin become raw.

… and Recovery
OK, so you got carried away frolicking in the ocean with your summer crush and forgot to reapply your sunblock. And now you’ve turned a disturbing shade of fuchsia. Not to worry: Alma G. has a host of home remedies in her arsenal to soothe and rehydrate burning skin. Capsules of vitamin E, split open and gently spread over the affected areas, will expedite the healing process, as will aloe vera or olive oil. A slightly more time-consuming treatment Alma G. swears by is mixing whole milk and sweet apples in a blender to create a masque for the burned areas. Whatever you do, avoid the temptation to yank off the peeling skin that will inevitably appear a few days after your ill-fated rendezvous with the sun -- the new skin underneath will be extremely vulnerable, especially on your face. We know that’s a tall order, but find some bubble wrap to pop instead and leave your poor skin alone.

Photo: @iStockphoto.com/kzenonkzenon