There’s nothing like the beginning of a relationship. That giddy, soft-focus feeling, when every mushy pop song out there seems to be written just for you. But what about the day the music stops? The first time a couple fights is like Cupid’s arrow in reverse; just like that, all the gooey love turns into yelling and name-calling. It’s a shock, especially after that glorious honeymoon period. Both sides end up wounded and wondering, “What could have gone so wrong?”

Not to worry -- good news is at hand. Not only is nothing wrong, but there are all kinds of ways it can get better.

Learn the Ground Rules
“Some people believe that happy couples don’t fight,” says psychotherapist and relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin. “Not true. The difference between happy and unhappy couples is how they fight -- constructively or destructively.”

The key is to fight fair, and that means obeying a few simple ground rules. For instance, stay on topic. “Don’t say ‘Oh and another thing … ’ and drag in all kinds of different issues,” says Tublin. “Stick to the subject.” Another important rule: If things start to get out of hand, remove yourself from the situation. “If there’s name-calling and shouting, just say, ‘This conversation isn’t productive anymore. Let’s revisit this at another time.’”

Check Your Expectations
Even before the argument begins, it helps to recognize what’s normal. According to Alisa Bowman, author of Project Happily Ever After, not every dispute needs resolution. Relationships have limits. “Your significant other is not going to be your everything,” explains Bowman. “You won’t always agree, and you won’t always be able to convert the other side to your view -- sometimes you have to agree to disagree. And that’s OK.”

Equally important is understanding that there’s no such thing as winning. “If you win,” says Bowman, “then the other half loses, so in the end you both lose. Your relationship is in worse shape than it was before.” What’s more, the “loser” may harbor resentment, which may in turn fuel the next fight. And so the cycle continues.

Step Back
In Bowman’s experience, many fights boil down to a feeling of not being heard, but we react to this feeling dysfunctionally. “We raise our voices, and that just escalates the fight. It causes people to shut down. Paradoxically, the louder you yell, the less you are heard.” The solution, she says, is to say less and listen more. “If your girlfriend’s yelling at you, don’t fight back. Listen and ask questions. If you know how to do it, you feel really powerful. You can say to yourself: ‘I know I’m a good person, you know I’m a good person, you’re just forgetting it right now.’ It's like a Jedi mind-trick.”

There’s nothing easy about Jedi mind-tricks, of course, especially in the heat of battle. But you can practice without having lots of fights. “Everyone knows someone who talks too much or who’s angry and bitter,” says Bowman. “They’re the ones you practice on. Just practice listening.”

Understand the Triggers
Couples tend to fight over relatively trivial matters, but beneath that complaint, there often lies a more profound emotional issue. “It’s usually a core issue from childhood that’s triggered when we fight,” says marriage counselor Sharon Rivkin, author of Breaking The Argument Cycle: How to Stop Fighting Without Therapy. “And in order to really fight fair, we need to know what we’re actually fighting about. So I ask people: ‘Why did it make you so mad when he arrived late? Have you ever felt this way before?’”

Digging into one’s childhood to process a blowup over tardiness may sound a bit extreme, but the very act of asking these questions and looking beyond the fight is itself helpful. “No one knows what is going to trigger your girlfriend into feeling upset until it has happened,” explains Rivkin. “But once you learn what that trigger is, you gain empathy and compassion for her. It will bring you closer.”

Act Early
Finally, don’t wait for your 15th fight to start putting this advice into action. “Your first fights are precious, because at the start of a relationship, you’re more likely to be kind,” says Rivkin. “Once you let resentment build, then that can change -- some couples actually try to trigger each other into fights, and it becomes all about blame and shame.”

So when that first fight starts, embrace it. The honeymoon period may have ended, but your real relationship is just beginning.

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If your girl rolls her eyes whenever you suggest dinner and a movie (i.e., every night you go out), it’s time to step up your dating game. We asked the girls of the Men’s Life Today Girl Panel™ to describe the best dates they’ve ever had, in hopes that their stories will lead to a story or two starring your girl and you.

Stella 25	Arielle 25	Natalia 26	Michelle 27	Stacey 25	Lauren 25	Colleen 28

A high-altitude hike: One of the very first dates I went on with my boyfriend was a hiking trip in the Pocono Mountains, which are near his house. It was a perfect opportunity to get to know each other and create some memorable inside jokes. To this day, we still laugh about a fellow hiker who veered off the trail and nearly went somersaulting down a cliff. Plus, the bird’s-eye view of the mountains, forests and rivers was romantic and gave us a breathtaking backdrop for our first pictures together. -- Stella

A sunset cruise: One of my most unique dates was a simple walk in New York City. We went downtown and boarded the Staten Island Ferry (a commuter ferry) for a “sunset cruise” of the Statue of Liberty. Once we arrived on Staten Island, we had dinner and drinks near the ferry. It wasn’t the most glamorous date, but it was unlike anything I’d ever done before. -- Arielle

An impromptu road trip: My date invited me to get coffee at his favorite coffee shop. He picked me up and drove to a tiny town about an hour away. It was a beautiful spring day that was perfect for a ride, and the town itself was charming. We walked around and checked out the antique shops, took in the river views and, of course, had that cup of coffee. -- Natalia

A “Dinosaur Day”: We started at the Museum of Natural History and spent the afternoon checking out the fossils. Then we went uptown to my favorite BBQ place, Dinosaur Bar-B-Que. Picking a theme made it more fun. -- Michelle

A day off: My boyfriend and I both called in sick to work. We walked around a park, got pastries, played Ping-Pong at a pool hall and then got dinner -- all while the rest of the city was working away! -- Hayley

A surprise picnic: My boyfriend surprised me with a packed picnic basket (salads, cheeses and drinks) all ready to go when I got home from work, and he took me to a romantic place in a nearby park to enjoy it. -- Stacey

A seaside exodus: My boyfriend and I decided to check out a seaside town on the countryside that we’d heard was beautiful. We hit a ton of traffic, and it took us almost seven hours to get there; we still felt really lucky to have that time together. We arrived just before the sun set and we sat on the sand to soak in the last rays. Afterward, we went to a lounge and played a low-key game of Scrabble. -- Lauren

A better-than-a-movie date: My boyfriend and I are both big movie buffs, so for the Oscars he took me to a viewing party hosted by a comedian who told jokes during the commercial breaks. -- Michelle

A medieval battlefield: We went to a park that’s part medieval museum. The topic didn’t really interest us, but the snow-covered architecture was gorgeous. We threw snowballs and watched the sun set. Something about finding a new place to explore together was fun and romantic. -- Colleen

There are few guarantees in life, but this much we can say with certainty: The sun rises in the east, death comes to us all, and you will -- at one time or another -- suddenly find yourself in the midst of a blazing fight with your girlfriend without even realizing it.

Many of us have been there. One minute you’re having a conversation, maybe a minor argument, but that’s OK; it’s all under control. Then you say something -- a word or passing comment, something relatively harmless, or so you think -- and it sets her off. As soon as it leaves your lips, the air changes, and there’s no easy way back.

There are some things men should never say to their women -- conversational land mines that appear insignificant on the face of it, but are anything but. The good news is that we know, for the most part, what they are. Many men have suffered before you. It would be wise to heed their counsel.

1. “Are you really going to eat all that?”
Your girlfriend is, by definition, as light as a feather and nimble as a ballerina. To so much as whisper a hint of the notion that she might be, you know, otherwise, is to risk paying a price as heavy as you suspect her to be. In fact, avoid the topic of food altogether if you can. Eating is an emotional, often obsessive business for women, and occasionally it’s an actual disorder. It’s tied up with their identity, their self-image, their fantasies. So the answer is, yes, she’s really going to eat all that. All that ballet must have given her an appetite.

2. “B*tch”
The B word is like the N word: Unless you’ve been appropriately oppressed, you don’t get to use it. You might be able to pull off an ironic Snoop Dogg-style “beeeyatch,” so long as you’re smiling as you say it. But to say “b*tch” with any kind of intent is to pull the pin out of a grenade.

3. “My ex used to … ”
Anything you say with the words “my ex” in it will be held against you in a court of law, as it should. Of course it’s natural to compare your girlfriends, but keep it to yourself. There are inside thoughts and outside thoughts. This belongs firmly to the former category.

4. “You always do that.”
One sure way to escalate a minor tiff into a nuclear showdown is to use words like “never” and “always.” They’re too sweeping to be true, so you’ll not only upset her, but also give her the opportunity to prove you wrong and seize the higher ground. And it tends to drag every other argument you’ve had into your present one, which is like rehashing all the worst parts of your relationship all at once.

5. “You sound just like your mother.”
Don’t compare her to her mother. Or her sister, for that matter. You don’t know those people like she does, and you don’t know the full complexity of their relationships. And anyway, everyone wants an independent identity, separate and distinct from their family members.

6. “Yeah, she’s hot.”
Chances are she lured you in with an innocent question, like, “Do you think she’s cute?” shrugging her shoulders like it wouldn’t matter either way. But don’t be fooled. You must lie quickly and reflexively. Whether it’s a girl in a magazine, a Facebook friend, a waitress -- whoever -- the answer is always no. In fact, you win extra points for casually finding fault in her the closer you look. Watch your girlfriend light up as you say, “Is it me, or is her nose a bit weird?”

7. “What’s up with your hair?”
Her hair looks great and it suits her perfectly. She’s allowed to have a bad hair day, but you’re not allowed to notice. For girls, hair isn’t just hair.

8. “Relax.”
The thing about “relax” is it dramatically reduces the chances of her relaxing. The same goes for “chill” and “calm down.” Here’s an alternative: “I can see how you would feel that way.” It takes a Zen master to actually use it in the heat of combat, but it’s there if you need it.

9. “Is this your time of the month?”
Even if it is, you’re not to mention it. Your role is to pretend that her menstrual cycle has no effect on her tendency to shriek and stamp and then burst into tears for no reason whatsoever. In this matter, you must occupy the high ground and show pity. Indulge her delusion that she is not in fact deranged by hormones and that she’s making a valid point. The moment will pass.

10. “I love you.”
I know what you’re thinking. This is supposed to be the magic pill, the cure-all, the instant fix. But the thing about the L word is that it sends women into a heightened sense of awareness. As soon as they hear it, they can tell whether or not you mean it. Misuse the force and it may destroy you. Or as the saying goes, if you play with fire, you might get slapped in the middle of a restaurant.

The edited with the pleasant aspects of life grows: your back will feel the warmth of the sun, beautiful women in the streets begins to swing Tirilye Tirilye and perhaps the most beautiful, the dearly beloved financially able to flirt with collapsing increases the options available. The possibilities are endless, but your lover to experience summer on a shoestring budget will give you six great suggestions.

Event 1: here, "Park" You Can
Whether the first, or whether the fiftieth meeting, appointments are easy and cheap to go to the edge of a nearby park or lake. The famous romance coach, Arthur Milo, "The first appointment ball play touch or eat ice cream. You will easily get an idea about the relationship process. "He says. Rent a boat at sunset, go for a ride, or if possible, among the other alternatives. Ducks, pigeons or sparrows to keep with you a little bit of bread crumbs. Girls love men animal lover.

Event 2: Music Lyrics
Many free concerts are organized throughout the summer in the city. This is an opportunity to discover new music without paying a fee. If you have a small diameter organizasyonsa and a proper environment, you bring a blanket for a picnic get something to eat. If you be tracking a famous artist, forget about the picnic. Both of you will lose plenty of water, you get water. Lover, warmly welcomes this thoughtful behavior.

Event 3: Upgrade to the Bar
The weather gets hot, open-air venues terrace floors, a great place to bring our beloved romantic moments. For most women the landscape is to say romance. Only hamburgers or chicken wings on the menu, even if it does not matter. Alone, not get caught in the crowd out of the weekend. For example, quit on Tuesday. Thus, you and your beloved will go all the space. Do not have a great terrace nearby restaurant or cafe? Then call a garden or a place overlooking the sea, a view will do the job as long as!

Event 4: Festival and Events
Can participate in low cost or free summer festivals and events in dating the most beautiful homes. Get your hand and blend in. snacks. For example, join one of the competitions get something for him. If you have amusement park, ride a Ferris Do not forget, the moment you leave the summit is a good opportunity to promote intimacy. I hope you understand.

Event 5: Performing Arts
You do not have to watch Shakespeare. However, preferably a place in the open air theater organization, the relationship is reflected in your bottom line as plus points. Is not too hard to find an affordable place. Examine the papers-the Internet and your beloved, do plan to bring our class one day. For a quick bite before the show, fruit juice, sandwiches and dessert, which consists of the package can prepare a picnic. If you have a short in the front of game-related research, is garantilediniz flörtünüzü fascinated. Do not like the theater? The game is played outdoors, choose a cloudy night, half due to rain, if you show, you are infected cultures effortless scores!

Event 6: The Life of a sunny beach
The bus, train, car or bike to the beach Take yourself to jump! "Spent money / feast for the eyes" is the ratio of the highest type of appointment. Bring towel, mat, chips and bring something to drink. Offer to drive your lover suntan oil on her back. Leave the rest to you.

Family and relationships: It’s a potent combination at any time of year. But during the holidays -- when expectations are high, history runs deep, and people who live happily apart all year are suddenly thrown together for hours or even days -- tensions can really skyrocket. Whether or not you’ve already met your significant other’s family, becoming part of their holiday traditions is new -- and potentially volatile -- territory. But with a little preparation, you can easily get through it … and maybe even win some coveted brownie points. Herewith, our survival tips for dealing with this most precarious time of year.

Tip No. 1: Talk to your girlfriend in advance.
Sari Eckler Cooper, a psychotherapist and sex therapist, recommends you get your ducks in a row well before the visit. Ask your girlfriend which family members you’re likely to connect with, who you might want to keep a distance from, and what topics are off limits (like that estranged uncle in Chile). Discuss family traditions in order to avoid major surprises, and plan tactics for impressing her relatives. If they’re into singing carols, for instance, learn the tune to at least one -- and don’t be shy about humming it.

Tip No. 2: Arm yourself with gifts.
Don’t neglect to bring a thoughtful host gift. As soon as you step in the door, give your host or hostess an ornament, holiday cookies or flowers to set a positive tone from the outset. Whether you bring additional presents has everything to do with what her family does on the holidays (which, again, means talking to your girlfriend). Is there a major gift-opening ritual? If so, are all her relatives bringing you a little something? Or is it just her parents, who’ve got a more substantial present in the works? Your girlfriend can let you know what level of gifts to expect, and from whom, without ruining the surprise. Then prepare to come bearing the same level of gifts in exchange.

Tip No. 3: “Jingle” rhymes with “mingle.”
The most crucial part, of course, is the gathering itself. Even if you’ve gotten the total scoop from your girlfriend and have hunted down the perfect presents, it’s normal to be a little nervous. But don’t let your anxiety get the best of you. “A lot of guys freak out when they go to these family gatherings and glue themselves to the girlfriend because it’s comfortable,” says Jordan Harbinger, co-founder of The Art of Charm, a company that teaches men social skills. “But it’s only comfortable for you.” No one’s going to hurt you; it’s a family gathering, after all. And she’ll probably find it annoying if she has to babysit you. As Harbinger puts it: “How would you feel if she followed you around during your family party and wouldn’t talk to any of your relatives? You’d be embarrassed.”

The easiest people to mingle with are the oldest and youngest relatives, says Cooper. “Children tend to be the most open to visitors and to having fun,” she explains, “and the adults will appreciate getting a break from them.” The elderly family members might not have the energy to run around in the yard with you, but they sure can talk a blue streak. “Try asking how they celebrated the holidays as a child or what their favorite holiday was,” recommends Cooper.

Tip No. 4: Lend a helping hand.
It is that do-good time of year, right? Aside from talking, a great way to interact is to help out with chores. It’s a sign to her relatives that they don’t have to treat you like a guest, and you’ll fit in with the family all the more easily. If you offer to give a hand in the kitchen and get turned down, suggest a quick run to the store to grab the buttermilk they forgot to buy. Or ask Mama G to show you how she makes her cookies so chewy. Whether she tells you or prefers to keep it her little secret, chances are she’ll have a soft spot for you forever.

Photo Credit: @iStockphoto.com/kzenon