If staying lean is a struggle, you just might be hanging out with the wrong crowd. Here’s how to stop your friends from making you fat.

Your friends. If you didn’t know they loved you, you’d think they were trying to kill you: convincing you to go streaking during a blizzard, throwing that wild pitch right at your noggin, secretly spicing your chili with jalapenos.

But there’s something else they might be doing to harm you, and neither they nor you may even know it.

They could be making you fat.

Yes, your bros may influence your weight and the behaviors that tend to make you overweight. In a study published in the August issue of the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, youngsters age 9 to 15 were paired up with either a friend or an unfamiliar person of similar age. Friends who ate together consumed more food than those paired with someone they didn't know. Friends were also more likely to eat similar amounts than participants paired with a stranger. The results, researchers said, suggest that friends may act as “permission givers” when it comes to overeating.

“It’s the same as smoking,” says exercise psychologist Thomas Collingwood, who holds a doctorate in psychology and works at Fitness Intervention Technologies in Richardson, Texas. “If your buddies smoke, you tend to smoke. The issue is peer pressure -- and we’ve known for a long time that this has a powerful, powerful effect on all kinds of behaviors.”

Does this mean you need to shed friends to shed pounds? Not necessarily. You can fight the weighty influence of your crew while actually helping them get leaner, fitter and healthier. The ways:

1. Know when you’re at risk and plan ahead.
Beware the dangers of being packed into a booth down at the local TGIF with your posse on a Saturday night. “The dinner table or the bar is probably the worst for guys,” says weight loss expert Kara Mohr, who holds a doctorate in exercise physiology and is the co-owner of Mohr Results Inc. “It’s a ‘man out’ thing -- who can drink the most, eat the most, enjoy the most.”

Recognizing these high-risk social eating situations in advance will enable you to plan ahead. For instance, consider pulling up the menu of the restaurant you’re headed to in advance so you can find the healthy alternatives there -- or maybe even decide you don’t want to go to this place at all! “Once you’re at the buffet at happy hour, it’s probably too late,” adds Mohr.

2. Take one step at a time.
“You don’t have to say ‘I’m going to stop hanging around with my friends, go the gym every night and eat celery sticks from now on,’” says Mohr. Instead, start by skipping the wings at happy hour. Or decide not to drink on weeknights. Or choose the menu’s healthy alternatives. “You still have choices, even if you’re hanging with the same friends,” says Janice Baker, a registered dietitian based in San Diego, Calif. “Instead of five beers, maybe it’s two beers with water in between. Instead of a double cheeseburger and 64-ounce soda, maybe it’s a regular burger with an iced tea.”

3. Put your money where your mouth isn’t.
No need to make an announcement about your new exercise or eating program. Just go ahead and do it. “You don’t have to talk about dieting; just set an example and enjoy your friends,” says Baker. “They might catch on and start asking about what you’re doing to be in such good shape.”

4. Be the game changer.
Perhaps the group could use a shake-up. While watching football on TV, “maybe you take the initiative to say, ‘Hey guys, at halftime, let’s go shoot some hoops instead of sitting around,’” recommends Collingwood. “Or ‘This week, how about we meet at the gym before we go out?’”

5. Work together.
Psychologists often use a “behavior contract,” a written agreement that you and a buddy could sign, to help people make changes. Example: You and your pal can pledge to do a 30-minute circuit workout at the gym together twice a week for the next month. You set a nonfood reward for compliance (e.g., after the month of workouts, you’ll treat yourselves to tickets to a ball game) and a punishment for failure (e.g., you’ll both do the dishes for your respective girlfriends for a week). If one sticks with reaching the goal and the other doesn’t, the non-sticker buys the tix.

Collingwood, who has helped develop fitness programs for everyone from middle schoolers to veteran police officers, says he’s found a 60 percent success rate with those who use a behavior contract. “They’re successful if they’re kept simple and doable,” he says.

6. Make a clean break.
If your playmates refuse to buy into any of this, maybe it is time to move on -- or at least see them a little less or under different circumstances. Instead, you can make some new friends (at the gym, the park -- heck, maybe even Subway!) who want to lift weights and play ball, and whose idea of fun extends beyond seeing how many plates of nachos and cheese they can scarf down. Says Mohr: “It can’t hurt to find new friends that model the behaviors you want to adopt.”

Want to be your team’s alpha male? The leader out in the field? Just remember: The climb to the top all starts in your head.

Want to be the leader of the pack -- the guy everyone turns to, especially when the game’s on the line? The so-called “alpha male”? You won’t have to wear some kind of testosterone patch, and you certainly won’t have to take illegal performance-enhancing drugs. One thing you can do, though: Cultivate some alpha attitude.

That’s right, an important step to becoming an alpha male in competition is building the right kind of confidence, inner strength and attitude -- the kind of persona that makes you a leader, and your teammates your followers.

Before we go out onto that field, though, let’s back up into the locker room and ask the question: Exactly what is an alpha male?

According to Kate Ludeman, Ph.D., and Dr. Eddie Erlandson, authors of the 2006 book Alpha Male Syndrome, the alpha male is someone whose “courage, confidence, tireless energy and fighting spirit makes them natural leaders in competitive situations.”

The original concept of an alpha male had nothing to do with manliness -- or for that matter, man -- but rather, with the behavior of wolves. In packs, alpha wolves “attained their position by maturing and mating, just like humans,” says Dr. Dave Mech, a research biologist whose 1970 book, The Wolf: Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species, helped introduce the concept of the alpha male.

The modern, enlightened, “true” alpha, says James Villepigue -- co-author, with Rick Collins, of the new book Alpha Male Challenge: The 10-Week Plan to Burn Fat, Gain Muscle and Build True Alpha Attitude -- is “intelligent, thoughtful, emphatic, resilient, and someone who makes the most of his life, respects people.” But he’s also strong and in great shape, ready to lead by example. In competition, says sport psychologist Michael Sachs of Temple University, the true alpha’s “sense of self-worth is not based on kicking your [butt] but on being successful. He understands that beating his opponent down physically and mentally is not required in order to win.”

In their book, Villepigue and Collins -- both certified strength and conditioning coaches -- talk about what they call the four C’s of alpha-male behavior: confidence, courage, conscience and commitment. Here are some of their tips on how to develop those qualities and how they will help you in your sport:

Exercise … Confidence
Alphas are confident in their abilities -- confident enough to exude quiet strength. “Confidence is a muscle,” Villepigue says. “It can be exercised and developed.” You can practice by spending an hour a week each week, walking tall -- shoulders back, chin up, no slouching -- at the mall. Deliberately interact with merchants and those around you. Make eye contact. Speak clearly and with intent but maintain a respectful tone.

Field goal: Practice this drill and see how it comes into play at gut-check time -- when you can look into the eyes of your teammate and exude game-winning confidence and poise.

Build up … Courage
To develop the courage to get what you deserve without being a bully or being bullied yourself, practice some straight talk: Find an interpersonal situation you’ve neglected for a while -- a problem with a co-worker, a spat with a family member, an unsettled argument with a friend. Sit down and ask yourself:

• What is the other party’s specific behavior?
  
• What effect is it having on you?
  
• What is the solution or remedy you want?

Armed with this information, invite this person to sit down and discuss your differences. State the facts. State your feelings. State what you’d like to see happen. Be calm and direct. And feel good that you’ve handled a stressful situation like a real alpha.

Field goal: Your opponent, a teammate, maybe even a coach, is in your face. What you learned from the “courage” drill will help you deal with that guy calmly and rationally -- instead of losing your cool and getting socked with a penalty, a technical foul or maybe even expulsion from the team.

Nurture Conscience
This, the authors say, “is what separates the true alpha male from selfish posers.” A conscience comes from empathy -- the ability to share in and understand another’s thoughts and feelings -- and you can help nurture that by simply learning to listen: Engage in a conversation with a person you wouldn’t normally speak to -- like someone you don’t much care for. Initiate the conversation (“So what do you think of…?”) but let them drive it. Pay attention, listen carefully and try to accept what they say without judgment. You don’t have to necessarily agree, but by listening and at least respecting the other guy’s point of view, you’re on your way to developing the alpha qualities of empathy and conscience.

Field goal: You want to throw a pass. Your teammate wants to run the ball. Instead of dismissing his idea, practicing this drill will help you become a better listener and understand his point of view. And who knows, running the ball in that situation might be the correct call. (After all, even alpha males aren’t right all the time!)

Make Commitments
How about this proposition? Make yourself an alpha bet that you can get in better shape. Villepigue says studies have shown that money -- even as little as $40 -- can be a motivator for getting fit. Stick with an exercise program (he offers a 10-week plan in his book) and at the end, use the money to buy yourself something you really like. Even more valuable, you’ll improve your strength and fitness -- and learn a great lesson about stick-to-it-iveness. (Oh, and if you don’t make the goal or can’t stick with the program -- donate the money to charity and try again).

Field goal: Obviously, following through on a better training program will make you stronger and fitter for your sport. But your newfound commitment will show itself in other ways: in your commitment to practice, to your teammates and to improving every phase of your game.

Want to be fit enough to conquer Tibet’s highest mountains? Or maybe “just” pass a fireman’s fitness test? All you have to do is master this exercise regimen.

Rock climbing Mount McKinley. Tossing a 60-yard spiral. Qualifying for a fire department fitness test. Competing in your local 200-mile bicycle race. Athletic challenges both big and small.

Few of us do workouts that can adequately prepare us for, literally, anything. But what if you could prepare your body to complete all the challenges above by practicing just one routine? If such a workout is what you want, then Sean Burch and his regimens, which have helped men run marathons and climb Mount Everest for the first time, are the ticket. The author of Hyperfitness and a world-record-setting mountain climber, Burch has helped numerous clients achieve amazing athletic feats through his training system.

Warning: His workouts are tough -- really tough. But then, he says, people, including young guys, don’t exercise anywhere close to the level they’re capable of. “If you can do this workout, completely mapped out in the 14 exercises below, there’s nothing you can’t do in fitness,” he adds.

To illustrate the kind of shape his workouts put you in, Sean went on an expedition to a remote part of Tibet, where he hiked and rock climbed for 15 hours every day, 23 days straight. During that time, he ascended a mind-boggling 63 virgin peaks (as in, he was the first one ever to reach the top of those peaks), all between 16,000 and 19,000 feet.

“My drills are meant to change the way you perceive and enact fitness, and were created to get readers in the best conceivable shape in the shortest amount of time. People are still separating their strength and cardiovascular training. This is wrong! Readers must think of their mind/body training as one entity to maximize the total body experience.”

Adds Burch: “The following 14 drills I use to sharpen my body and mind for expeditions around the world.”

The idea is to improve with each session until you can do the exercises completely through as intended. For a 30-minute killer workout, complete these high-energy moves in the order shown without resting, and build up to three times for each session:  

1. Inverted-V Push-up
Start in modified push-up position, with your butt up in the air so your body forms an inverted V. Stay on your toes, legs straight, then bend elbows while lowering head and shoulders toward floor. Go down till forehead lightly touches floor, then push back up. (10 to 14 reps)

2. Squat Palms Touch to Spread-eagle Jump
Squat, touch your palms to the floor, then spring up and spread-eagle with legs and arms. (15 to 20 reps)

3. Scale the Whale
Place one hand on a towel on a hard, smooth surface -- like the basketball court floor -- and get into runner’s starting position, with one leg ahead of the other and knees bent. Sprint forward the length of whatever surface you’re using, with your hand remaining on the towel that slides ahead of you. Then, assume the starting position and sprint back. Switch hands after 45 seconds and continue for another 45 seconds. Essentially, this drill elongates the hardest part of the sprint: the explosive start. (one minute, 30 seconds)

4. Riverdance
While hopping from one foot to the other, alternately tap your fingers on the inside of your raised ankle. (When you hop on your right foot, you’ll tap your left ankle and vice versa.) Increase the height of each hop as you develop more leg strength, and aim to maintain balance while increasing speed. (five sets of six reps; one rep is four touches)

5. Pop-up to Side Jump
Kneeling with legs and hands on ground, pop your body up quickly, bringing feet underneath your hips and arms by sides. Next, jump side to side, aiming for height rather than lateral distance. Return to kneeling and repeat. One rep is one pop-up and one jump to each side. (12 to 16 reps)

6. The Hyper Bound
Squat, jump forward or in place, then bring knees and palms down to touch the floor. Repeat. (20 reps)

7. Mountain Climbers
Get into push-up position. Keep upper body fixed, then bring right knee under body to chest then straight again, left knee to chest then straight again, right foot out to 3 o’clock and back again, and left foot to 9 o’clock and back again. Do in staccato, bouncy rhythm. (20 reps)

8. Staggered Hand Push-ups
Place one hand in normal push-up position and the other about a foot lower than normal so it’s opposite the rib cage. Execute push-up. Do eight reps before switching hand position, then do eight more reps. Repeat series for two minutes.

9. Rollup, Tuck, Rear Jump
Lie supine with arms stretched overhead, legs bent and feet on the floor. Bring arms forward while you roll up your body one vertebra at a time and stand. Jump, bringing heels to glutes. Then roll back down and repeat, in a fluid fashion. (15 reps)

10. 3-point Push-up With Jump-feet Switch
Get into 3-point push-up position (with both hands and only one foot on ground, other foot remaining elevated) and jump and switch feet after each push-up. (11 reps)

11. Triangle T to Full J-jack
Start in push-up position with feet together. Thrust them under your chest, then back to push-up position, over to right side, back to push-up position, over to left side and back to push-up position. Then bring them under chest and spring up for a full jumping jack. (15 reps)

12. Frog Jump Variation No. 4
Frog jump forward, beginning with feet wide and palms on the floor between them. Jump forward while switching hand and foot positions so feet go together and hands move outside feet. (25 reps)

13. Tricep Push-up Clap to Pop-up Squat Jump
Kneel and place hands in diamond shape on ground, directly below sternum. Form a straight line from knees to shoulders to top of head, and drop body down until arms are bent at a 90-degree angle at the elbows, then push back up and clap as you balance on your knees. Next, pop your feet under your chest and squat jump upward. (12 to 15 reps)

14. Flashdance
High-step forward with feet barely touching ground, as if ground was scalding hot. Clap under front leg throughout exercise. (aim for 50 claps)

It's tough to bulk up. But even “hard gainers” can add muscle if they follow these crucial tips.

Some guys put on muscle just by Googling. A lot of men, though, aren’t so lucky. They're “hard gainers,” for whom nothing comes “in bulk.”

But even the skinniest guys can put on some halfway-respectable mass if they work it right. Hey, if you’ve seen Christian Bale’s skeletal stick figure in The Machinist, you’d never guess he could become the buffed Dark Knight. So, if you’d like to go from machinist to Batman, follow these quick, effective tips on how to put on the right kind of weight (muscle, not fat). True, you may not wind up as muscular as the Caped Crusader (genetics can be quite the super-villain), but surely you can look as good as Robin. Here’s how:

Leave the Bodybuilding Routines for the Bodybuilders
You’ve got the latest issue of Muscle Maniacs Magazine in your hand, and you’re tempted to try that chest workout Mr. Galaxy is using. Stop.

“Those magazines are based on steroid bodybuilders, and what works for somebody on steroids doesn’t work for somebody who wants to be natural,” says Fit Chicago owner Clint Phillips, a certified personal trainer. “Many hard gainers think more is better and end up doing an insane amount of sets and reps. They’ll often be in the gym for two or three hours.”

Instead, Phillips recommends spending only 45 minutes to an hour with the weights and no more than two to three weight workouts a week.

To Get Bigger, Go Basic
Get rid of the so-called “shaping exercises” done with little dumbbells -- such as shoulder raises, chest flyes and concentration curls -- as these target only part of a muscle group. Instead, stick with barbell-type moves and heavier weights, and aim for compound movements that involve at least two or more muscle groups, such as the chest, shoulders and triceps for the bench press.

Why? Your muscles respond most to lifting heavier loads, and the impact on the muscles can be considerably magnified by moves that involve more muscle groups. This will enable you to lift even heavier weights and build more muscle thanks to those bigger loads.

“Choose the more difficult movements,” advises certified personal trainer Mike Boyle, who owns Mike Boyle's Strength & Conditioning in Winchester, Mass. Go for the bigger exercises like squats, presses, deadlifts, chin-ups and straight bar curls.

Challenge Yourself
To maximize your gains, choose challenging moves and go hard during every set. “Intensity is much more important to muscle growth than quantity. I would much prefer to see two very intense sets to failure [until you can’t lift anymore] with heavy weights and with forced reps [four to eight] than four to five sets of 12 to 15 reps at moderate intensity,” explains Phillips. For example, if you get to 10 reps with a lot of muscle straining, then you're going too light. Pound up!

 

Boyle agrees, saying he sees too many guys take the easy route in the weight room. “Many would rather do tricep press-downs than dips, or leg presses than squats … but they’re just cheating themselves of better muscle gains,” he explains.

Choose “Muscle Cardio”
The last thing you need -- after putting your muscles on the get-bigger track -- is going through a long cardio session, which will only whittle down those gains. Inevitably, your body will extract the energy it needs for long cardio from your muscle tissues, no matter how fueled up you are before.

Instead, further enhance the muscle-building process by adding some “muscle cardio” or “explosive cardio” -- short bursts of power followed by longer bouts of rest -- two to three times a week. Do eight rounds of 10 to 20 seconds of high-intensity cardio, such as wind sprints or cycle sprints, followed by 20 to 40 seconds rest.

Master Before-and-after Eating
There’s no shortcut to the muscled-up “after” picture of a stick-figure “before” you. Frankly, a lot of it has to do with what you routinely eat -- including different kinds of carbohydrates and proteins -- before and after workouts, and before and after sleep.

After you wake up, you want to get your muscles back into the anabolic (muscle building) state and out of the catabolic (muscle breakdown) state they fall into by morning time. Susan Kleiner, Ph.D., a registered dietitian and author of Power Eating, recommends eating protein for breakfast to avoid that latter state -- and that’s why eggs are a good start to the day. If you prefer to sip rather than chew early in the day, go with a whey protein shake -- which your muscles rapidly absorb -- with fruit.

Overall, she says that each day hard gainers must consume at least 0.73 grams of protein per pound of body weight and 2.73 or more grams of carbohydrates. In other words, if you're 180 pounds -- and don’t worry, you’ll get there -- that means 131.4 grams of protein and 491.4 grams of carbohydrates per day. If you have five meals per day, that translates to 26.3 grams of protein (equivalent to about four eggs) and 98.3 grams of carbohydrates (about five pancakes) per meal. A four-ounce chicken sandwich with a side of brown rice and vegetables would be a perfectly balanced meal.

Two to three hours before the workout, down a carbohydrate-protein mixture, such as a mixed-nutrient sports bar or a PB&J. Kleiner says it will provide immediate energy and decrease the negative effects of exercise, such as damage to muscle tissue and muscle soreness.

After your workout, don’t waste any time. “Within 15 to 30 minutes after setting down that last weight, take in some carbohydrates to refill your glycogen stores, build new proteins and refuel for tomorrow’s training session,” urges Kleiner.

Lastly, before bed, switch out the fast-digesting whey protein for slow-digesting, time-release proteins like casein protein powder and dairy food. Says Kleiner, this will help keep your body in muscle-building state during the dark night.

 

Or is that, “dark knight?”

Think what you do today has no bearing on your sex life tomorrow, or the day after? Think again.

The plight of the typical young man isn’t the inability to have sex; it's usually the inability to find someone to have sex with.

Fact is, though, if you think you don’t have to worry about erectile dysfunction (ED) until your hair starts to turn gray, think again. Even in your early 20s, chances are your arteries are already undergoing changes that may culminate years from now in ED.

Fundamentally, erection depends on blood flow into the penis. The more blood, the more reliable and firm your erection. But when arteries become narrowed by cholesterol-rich atherosclerotic plaque deposits, less blood flows into the penis and erections wilt. This becomes apparent by the time a man hits 50.

Harvard researchers tracked 31,742 middle-aged men for 14 years and found that ED is strongly linked to lifestyle factors that spur the growth of atherosclerotic plaques: smoking, obesity, heavy drinking and lack of exercise.

But plaques don’t pop up out of nowhere when you hit 50. They start to develop in childhood. Autopsies of American males killed in their late teens and 20s in accidents or in war consistently show the beginnings of atherosclerotic plaques, which means the beginning of ED.

Meanwhile, a healthy lifestyle keeps blood flowing freely through the arteries and preserves erection function. Healthy living doesn’t mean you’ll have the ability of legends at 90. But if you want to function sexually on Social Security, you’d be smart to adopt a healthy lifestyle now. Here’s how:

Get Regular, Moderate Exercise
Exercise is crucial for arterial health and blood flow into the penis. Exercise lowers cholesterol, which minimizes the deposits (plaques) on artery walls that narrow them and reduce blood flow. A study of middle-aged men at the University of California, San Diego, shows that as regular, moderate exercise increased, erections become more reliable. ED-preventive exercise doesn’t require extreme sports, but rather the equivalent of brisk walking for about an hour a day. “No question about it,” says Hank Wuh, M.D., author of Sexual Fitness. “Regular exercise improves erection function and sex.”

Eat Less Meat, Cheese and Junk Food, and More fruits and Vegetables
Meat, cheese and junk food are high in saturated (animal) fat. Like cholesterol, this fat narrows the arteries, limiting blood flow to the penis. Fruits and vegetables, on the other hand, contain antioxidant nutrients that minimize plaques and improve arterial blood flow. Italian researchers identified 65 men with incipient ED and asked half of them to eat less meat and cheese, and more fruits and vegetables. After two years, those who maintained a high-fat diet continued to have erection difficulties. But those who increased their fruit and vegetable consumption reported significantly less ED.

Lose Excess Weight
According to the Harvard study of middle-aged men, obesity is strongly associated with ED, and weight loss improves erection function. That’s not surprising. As we’ve seen, exercise and a diet low in saturated fat improve erections. They are also cornerstones of weight control. Studies at the Duke University Diet and Fitness Center show that as men lose weight and become more physically active, they report better erections.

Stop Smoking
Cigarettes greatly accelerate the growth of artery-narrowing plaques. A study at the New England Research Institute in Watertown, Mass., shows that smoking almost doubles risk of ED. Australian epidemiologist Christopher Millett, Ph.D., says, “Health promotion programs should use the link between tobacco and ED to help convince men to quit smoking.”

Manage Your Stress
Many young men feel like they have heavy weights on their shoulders. In one recent survey, 60 percent of Americans said they feel they’re “under significant stress” at least once a week. And since the stock market crash last fall, ComPsych, the nation’s largest employee-assistance program, reports that requests for psychotherapy have surged 40 percent.

The biological result of this emotional stress: the release of two hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) that constrict arteries, reducing blood flow into the genitals.

The erection-firming antidote is an ongoing stress-management program. Proven stress relievers include exercise -- aerobic or non-aerobic (e.g., yoga) -- meditation, music (playing or listening to), massage, laughter, hot baths, gardening, caring for a pet, visualization (of relaxing scenes) and quality time with friends, family or a lover. Incorporate one or more into your daily life, or even better, combine them: Exercise with friends or bathe with your girlfriend, for instance.

Bottom line: Couch potatoes are on a one-way trip to ED. But if you get off the sofa, work out and switch from Big Macs to big salads -- with low-fat dressing, of course -- you’re much more likely to maintain firm, reliable erections as you get older and to enjoy satisfying sex.