How to Talk to Women

In today's fast-paced and interconnected world, building meaningful connections with others has become more important than ever. For young men, meeting and talking to young women can sometimes be a nerve-wracking experience. However, with the right mindset, skills, and approach, you can learn to navigate this realm with confidence and authenticity. In this blog post, we will explore some practical tips to help you develop the necessary skills to meet and engage in meaningful conversations with young women.

  1. Work on Your Self-Confidence. Building self-confidence is crucial when it comes to meeting and talking to young women. Focus on self-improvement by setting personal goals, pursuing hobbies and interests, and taking care of your physical and mental well-being. When you feel good about yourself, your self-assurance and confidence will naturally shine through in social interactions.

  2. Approach with Genuine Interest. Approach conversations with genuine interest in the other person. Ask open-ended questions that invite meaningful dialogue, and actively listen to their responses. Show genuine curiosity about their passions, interests, and opinions. Remember, building a connection is about finding common ground and creating a comfortable atmosphere for both of you to express yourselves.

  3. Practice Good Communication Skills. Effective communication is the key to successful conversations. Maintain good eye contact, speak clearly, and pay attention to non-verbal cues. Practice active listening by giving your undivided attention and responding appropriately. Avoid interrupting or dominating the conversation, and be mindful of your body language, as it speaks volumes.

  4. Embrace Rejection and Learn from It. Rejection is a natural part of the dating process. Instead of fearing it, learn to embrace it as a valuable learning experience. Accept that not every interaction will lead to a connection, and that's perfectly okay. Use rejection as an opportunity to reflect on your approach, improve your skills, and grow as an individual.

  5. Build a Supportive Social Circle. Surround yourself with friends who support and encourage your personal growth. Engaging in social activities and expanding your circle will naturally expose you to new opportunities to meet young women. Participate in group activities, join clubs or organizations aligned with your interests, and attend social events where you can interact with like-minded individuals.

  6. Develop Empathy and Emotional Intelligence. Cultivate empathy and emotional intelligence to connect with young women on a deeper level. Empathy allows you to understand and relate to their experiences and perspectives, fostering a stronger bond. By being emotionally intelligent, you can navigate conversations sensitively, respond appropriately to emotions, and build trust.

Meeting and talking to young women should be approached with authenticity, respect, and a genuine interest in getting to know them. By focusing on self-confidence, effective communication, and building meaningful connections, you can navigate this realm with greater ease and enjoy enriching interactions. Remember, practice makes perfect, so don't be discouraged by setbacks. Embrace the journey and keep growing as an individual.


Dating in the Time of COVID-19

Well, here we are. Most of us are stuck in our home and apartments by now, operating as well we can virtually. Our boss (if we had a boss in February) has already asked you to stay at home and work from there, and that may or not be okay with you.

All of us operate differently when our world gets upended by something and uncontrollable and unimaginable able as this COVID-19 business has. Some can make the seamless transition to telecommuting, while others end up cleaning out their closet instead of dutifully sitting at their laptops. But when it comes to dating, adjusting to this time of suffering may not be as straight forward as it might seem. Younger people in school may have significant others across town or across the county, while others may be be stunned bu the abrupt postponement of a new relationship. In any case, here are some tips to survive the great quarantine of 2020.

This will pass

You need to keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass. That is, sometime in the not-too-distant future you'll be allowed back out into society, back into bars and restaurants, able to hang out with your friends again. This important because fear, anxiety and isolation can play trick on the mind and cause people to act irrationally. But maintaining close contact via text or video chat, you can stay close, if only virtually, with your significant other during these try times. And if your relationship can survive this, that it has longevity. If it doesn't, well, then maybe it wasn't meant to be. No matter what, don't resort to saying or writing anything you will regret later (either in private or on social media) because this will be over and you'll have to eventually face these again.

No Drinking and Texting

This is self explanatory but deserves a mention because, well, a lot us are using alcohol to deal with our anxieties during this crisis. Try and separate your boozing activities from your phone use to prevent unintended correspondence to occur. Remember, the meaning of messages can easily get lost in context.

Set-up Virtual Dates

While excessive drinking while couped up at home is never a good choice, setting up a 'date' on Facetime over a glass of wine is encouraged. Send an invite via text out to someone you'd normally ask out for a real date, and suggest you share a drink together while video chatting. This might sound awkward of even silly, but your clever problem-solving today might lead to an actual in-person date later.

Be Creative & Clever

Use this time to get your creative juices flowing and try to come up with some fun and flirty stories or anecdote you can share with a select few. This will help bring some levity to this otherwise serious situation, and help get your self and maybe some others get through. This could be in the form of a daily Instagram story poking fun at the new normal, writing a funny song or a silly poem about our collective conundrum. The point is to help someone you care about take their mind off the reality of the times.

Good luck, and don't forget to wash your hands frequently!




How Much Wooing Is Too Much?

Whether it’s professing love at first sight, loading her down with gifts or orchestrating a midnight mariachi band outside her window, some guys will say or do anything to woo the girl they want. But when do grand words and gestures cross into crazy-land?

We ask the Men’s Life Today Girl Panel™ to weigh in on real tales of wooing, as in which ones are sweet … and which are borderline psychotic. Take notes.

The Panel:

Lauren, 30

Veronica, 24

Lawrese, 22

Natalia, 25

Real Tales of Wooing

“A guy in high school once stole a picture of me as a little kid from my house, had it printed on a T-shirt, and wore it to school.”

Our panelist says:

“Now that is creepy. But I’d laugh if a guy brought me a cheesy T-shirt! Don’t be afraid to surprise her with something silly, especially if it has to do with an inside joke between the two of you.” -- Veronica

The Verdict:


“I was talking to this guy I liked on the phone when he told me to go outside to check out the moon that he was looking at from his dorm window hundreds of miles away. When I got outside, he was there to greet me.”

Our panelist says:

“Guys should make a surprise appearance every now and again.” -- Lawrese

The Verdict:


“A guy I was dating (not so seriously) got me real diamond earrings for my birthday.”

Our panelist says:

“They say diamonds are forever, and so they should be given to someone you know you’ll be with forever.” -- Lauren

The Verdict:


“I was on my way home from a family vacation when the guy I was dating snuck into my family’s house mid-blizzard to turn on the heat so we’d be warm when we got home.”

Our panelist says:

“I like that he snuck in so she could be warm. It would only be creepy if they weren’t dating!” -- Natalia

The Verdict:


“After keeping score of our scrabble game on the back of my business card, my date kept the card and used the address on it to send flowers to my office the next week.”

Our panelist says:

“I prefer to keep gifts to birthdays, holidays and anniversaries, but it’s OK to throw in surprise flowers a few days a year for good measure. -- Veronica

The Verdict:


“A kid I met online one summer took me out to dinner once. Four days later, he had called me, left a voicemail and texted me three times. I responded to say I wasn’t interested in him. Later that summer, he texted me again to offer me a VIP card to a club I like and another chance to go out with him.”

Our panelist says:

“I guess I would call that persistent. But after you tell someone you’re not interested, that kind of crosses the line.” -- Lawrese

The Verdict:


“A guy I’d gone out with only once before offered to cook me dinner at his apartment.”

Our panelist says:

“Making dinner is a thoughtful and cute gesture, but at this point seems like a ploy to get her over.” -- Lauren

The Verdict:


Getting the Girl -- Without Losing Your Friends

For most guys, the prospect of approaching a cute girl is too daunting to attempt alone. You need your buddies around you for a bit of support and a safe place to return to just in case, you know, it goes a bit sideways. But your pals may not be what you need when you’re trying to make a move. In fact, if the same girl catches the eye of one (or more) of your friends, it could make things rather messy. So what’s a guy to do?

Scratch Each Other’s Backs
According to dating expert and author Jay Cataldo, it pays to establish a “bro code” at the outset, before you go out with your pals. “True friends don’t compete for girls,” he says. “When I’m interested in a girl we’ve all just met, I will call ‘dibs’ on her and my friends will back off and support my gaming efforts. In other words, they’ll be good wingmen.” Needless to say, you need to do the same for them. (And you certainly don’t need an Excel spreadsheet, but try to be fair. If two of you call dibs simultaneously, the guy who hasn’t had a date in three months wins.)

Guys who take this approach can be a huge asset to one another, adds Adam LaDolce, dating expert and author of Being Alone Sucks! “You can boost each other’s value in the eyes of a woman. If your friend is taking the initiative, support him. Look at him when he’s talking, laugh at his jokes. Tell a story about how funny or awesome he is. Help him, and he’ll do the same for you next time.”

Play to Win (If You Must)
If there’s no way around a contest -- for instance, if you’re out with guys you don’t know that well (or guys who aren’t interested in a “bro code”) -- then Cataldo advises outgunning them. “Display as much alpha-ness as you can until she starts showing signs of attraction,” he says. “Talk louder than the other guys and try to control the conversational topic. Hold strong eye-contact with the girl when speaking directly to her, but glance around the room when she speaks to you. Give her friends more attention than her. And tease her in front of the group.”

This strategy can work (and a group of guys like this would probably just respect you if it did), but keep it as a last resort. Chances are the other guys won’t back down so easily, and most girls find it a turnoff when guys compete over them … meaning everyone loses. Besides, competing for the same girl runs counter to the “many fish” mentality. Cultivate this mindset and you’ll find yourself in a much better position than the guys swarming around the hottest girl in the room like sharks to chum.

Take the “Many Fish” Approach
“Once you realize there are many girls out there for you to meet, you won’t get so hung up on one,” explains LaDolce. “And the key to this is learning how to talk to several different women in an evening.” If that just doesn’t sound like you, try to make yourself do it anyway. Start with women you’re not that interested in; your confidence will grow naturally with repetition and experience, and by the time it comes to talking to a girl you’re attracted to, the pressure will be off just as you’re hitting your stride.

Then, right when she shows some interest, move on. “The best way to get a girl’s attention is to be the guy who’s bouncing around talking to other girls at the party,” says LaDolce. “Don’t worry if your friends are talking to her. Speak to five other nearby women. Believe me, she’ll notice you!”


The Bad Breakup Recovery Plan

Nothing brings on an emotional apocalypse like being ditched by the woman you love. It’s Cupid’s evil twin kicking you in the gut, and it seems the only option is to wallow in misery. With your confidence broken, it’s hard to face the world again.

The truth is, many have been there before and lived to tell the tale. We talked to relationship experts to find out the quickest and most pain-free way to turn your mindset around -- because it is, after all, all about attitude -- and get back on that horse. This is their advice.

1. Avoid the Rebound
“Don’t wallow in your bad feelings and then stagger out there before you’re ready,” says Tina Tessina, a relationships counselor and the author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. “You’re just going to set yourself up for the same situation all over again.”

If you’re still feeling like a basket case, you’ll come off like a basket case, and that’s not the “you” you want to put out there. There’s a difference between allowing some time to let the wounds heal and pining over a lost cause.

2. Do Something Manly
According to David Wygant, a relationships expert and the author of Always Talk to Strangers: 3 Simple Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life, it’s important to get away for a weekend. “Book a vacation. I don’t care what your budget is. Go away by yourself or bring a great friend and do something manly,” he advises. “Go kayaking or sailing on a lake, go for a hike, go camping with the boys.”

Whichever activity you choose, the most important thing is to go with trusted buddies and to make yourself a promise. “You must make a pact that you will not weep the entire weekend about how much you miss her.”

It’s too easy to get in the habit of feeling depressed. Doing something manly serves as a reminder of all the other things we enjoy. It gives us the confidence to carry on.

3. Figure out What You Want
The healing process is about forging a new commitment to yourself and identifying your needs in a partner. “This is really important,” says Wygant. “Make a list of what your future girlfriend needs to be like -- what she needs to look like, yes, but also how you want to feel around her, what you want to do with her. The clearer you are about what you want, the more fun dating is going to be when you get back into it.”

Without knowing what you’re looking for, you’ll keep walking into the same situation as before: “The same exact woman who is going to teach you the same exact lessons,” says Wygant. You don’t want to end up back where you started.

4. Take a Position -- Serious or Casual
It’s worth developing the same kind of understanding for your current state. “Do you want to date casually for the next six months to a year and not get involved with anyone?” asks Wygant. “Then be good with that.” This isn’t a feeling to hide either. Girls will actually respect your honesty.

Whether you decide to keep things casual at first or look for a serious commitment, simply taking a position bolsters your confidence. It puts you in control of an aspect of your life that was earlier stripped away.

5. Now Get Back in the Game
Once you’re feeling good, you’ve considered what you want in a relationship, and you’ve identified your needs, it’s time to get back on that horse. “Pick five places where you enjoy meeting women,” suggests Wygant. These could be coffee shops, the gym, a running club, wherever. But remember: This is about recommitting to yourself and meeting like-minded individuals. Choose the places you’re comfortable in. “Those are the places you go to meet people because then you’ll always have something to talk about,” explains Wygant. “Then you won’t get frustrated during this whole process.”

6. Have an Abundant Mindset
Developing an abundant mindset is like always seeing the glass as being half-full. It eliminates your suffering because you believe that even better relationships will come. “This is not the end of the world,” says Tessina. “It may feel like it at first, but it’s just the first experience of many.” Or, as Wygant says, “This is not the only person in the world that is ever going to love you.”

So don’t feel down. Recognize the breakup as the opportunity it is: a time to reconnect with yourself and to determine your own path in life and love.